


Paradise for Two

by canon_kakasaku



Category: Naruto
Genre: F/M, Former Teacher and Student
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-29
Updated: 2019-09-02
Packaged: 2020-05-29 15:44:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 23,511
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19403416
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/canon_kakasaku/pseuds/canon_kakasaku
Summary: Sakura learns from the best and the best happens to know a thing or two about love.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I am writing for myself and for those who love them just as I do or more. I can't make any fancy art, unfortunately, but I am hoping to learn just for my otp kakasaku and the small, but slowly growing community. 
> 
> Give me feedback or kudos to show your appreciation for this free little wip. It helps by encouraging me to do it more. 
> 
> [you don't need to or have to].  
> This is my very first time posting, I am not an excellent writer nor am I experienced...or imaginative, but 
> 
> Well, I hope you like it. Thank YOU!

The time was surely going to come one time or another, but sakura hoped she’d never hit rock bottom like this.

“I can’t believe I'm stooping so low, I'm like Kakashi-Sensei. No, worse, like that old man Jiraya,” groaned the pinkette inwardly. She closed her eyes tight until the rays of the sun were pitch black and the darkness under her eyelids sparked the colors of the rainbow.

It was a calm afternoon as Sakura waited for the swarms of civilians to fade away. She was waiting for an opportunity to buy it, and it was just around the corner.

* * *

Earlier that day Sakura went about her usual routine in the hospital. She dealt with an array of problems and people. Sometimes she zoned out as she mechanically did her job, but didn’t bother to change this behavior since it never failed to cause anyone any trouble.

Maybe she was that good at her job. Or, things were plainly uneventful because she overheard these two patients gossiping about the arrival of a new book that was quickly gaining popularity among women. Perhaps it was because these two patients who happened to be women, and quiet attractive, that Sakura took their word for it.

“I’m telling you Kara! This book is positively delicious,” ushered a brunette excitedly, leaning into her friend and nudging her elbow on Kara's arm.

At this, the short haired blonde, who Sakura assumed correctly, was Kara, rolled her eyes in disgust, “I don’t believe you, that other book you recommended to me was a complete letdown. You don’t know squat about those kind of books.”

Sakura heard the two women in the waiting room as she pressed her back on the wall, completely out of their sight. The bickering went on for awhile until the brunette whose name Sakura learned to be was Rena said, “I promise. Fine, don’t believe me, but you’ll hear all about it from someone else because it’s that good! Anyway, you can’t miss it, the cover is unique…”

And with that Rena left fuming prettily as she swung her purse.

Sakura’s social life was definitely non-existent if her curiosity was peaked by some chattering over some naughty book geared toward women. In the hospital.

So, the cover was unique, thought Sakura pursing her lips together. Well it was probably a cover that had nudity on it. She exhaled annoyingly at herself, a unique cover can look like anything. And those type of books would be, without a doubt, resting inside an adult store. And Sakura would never, ever, catch herself near those places.

* * *

But here she was. Around the corner waiting for an opening away from all potential eyes. "There’s still time, go! Turn back," Sakura thought, "this is ridiculous I’m better than this."

So, she straightened herself and used her body to push herself from the wooden wall, a calm breath was released and she stepped away from the shadows and into the dimly warm afternoon.

"Home, now", Sakura commanded herself. She obeyed dutifully, but she walked in the shortest of paces.

With a slum of her shoulders, she turned sharply and took an angry long stride after the other inside the damn bookstore that was stupidly called “ **V’s & D’s**.”

“Okay, I'm here. Great willpower, way to go Sakura,” she muttered silently to herself.

Sakura composed herself as she pushed long locks of sleek hair towards her back. Pale green eyes glossed at the sight of every single cover, she smiled embarrassingly at the more lavishly nude poses.

A middle aged woman with an absurdly mane of hair and a high pitched voice made sakura jump in panic, like a little girl caught in the middle of the night attempting to pry open a jar of cookies, “Can I help you with anything, dear?”

Sakura shivered, “I, erm, well…I am only looking that’s all.” Sakura voluntary stiffened to let this noisy looking woman understand that she wanted to look around on her own and thanked the gods when the woman replied with, “Alrighty then let me know if you need help or have any questions.”

Now she stood there not knowing how to find the source of her being there in the first place. If she asked for help it would make her feel like a fool for blowing off help in the first place.

So, she ventured on her own, taking a book that seemed promising. Sakura picked a paged at random and read using her inside voice, “He longed for so long from afar, now his engorged member was meeting her pleading entrance. In his utmost painful need, he pressed himself snuggly against her and lubricated himself with her slick dampness.”

“Oh. my. God,” thought Sakura, two sentences had her flushed. Man, was she a loser. Her body was perspiring a thin layer of pathetic, “Goodness, goodness...I sound like a grandma!”

Sakura held the book away from her as if it was emitting a grotesque smell or was cursed with the ability to burn flesh and dropped it back where it belonged.

She turned her heels, ran for the exit, swung the door, and had her face suffocate uncomfortably against a vest.

“Owh, watch it,” she whined teary eyed as she delicately attended to her wounded nose. She blinked away the tears that were obscuring her vision and regretfully looked up.

Sakura wished she’d never walked inside in the first place. Scratch that, she wished this man was anyone but her former teacher.

While Kakashi’s single eye shared a look of surprise, Sakura was frozen in place, but felt her mouth move, “I was never here.” Then proceeded to escape under Kakashi’s arm, which was still holding the door open.

Such an adult response for someone who managed to earn a respectable reputation! Sakura was sure, however, that Kakashi was not the type of person to run his mouth to people. Well, at least that's the impression her ex-teacher was determined to make the world believe.

* * *

She just turned twenty last week and felt no difference at all. Till this day she’s been pushing her needs at the bottom of the cemetery until a specific someone finally returned home and noticed her.

But he never did. Sasuke was still doing god knows what. Most certainly on missions protecting the village and on his road to redemption.

Sakura's lingering hope made it all too easy for her to wait patiently for Sasuke to come around.

* * *

“Forehead, seriously? What’s the point of having a thick skull if you’re going to be so close minded? I mean I’m so over Sasuke, but you are still that strung up twelve year old. It’s so sad,” Ino shook her head in complete disapproval.

Sakura recalled this annoying memory as she cracked her door open and slumped against it feeling defeated by poor luck.

But Ino’s voice didn’t stop there, “I mean don’t get me wrong, he’s powerful and hot, but he’s got some real serious issues. You don’t want to be a servant or a babysitter, do you? God forbid, a mom to him, it’s not like he’s going to gush out his feelings to you just because you keep nagging him about your unconditional love. Just look at naruto, even he struggles.”

Ino was slicing thorns off roses and trimming away at the crackling of dead plants, “We are young forehead. This period is supposed to be the time of our lives to make mistakes and have fun. Hoe around a bit at least for two days and then you can be a prude for the rest of you life.”

Sakura scowled at her best friend’s unwanted advice, “I can’t, Ino-pig. I’m not like that, I can’t even imagine myself like that, and you know why? Because it’s laughable. If I’m going to be a slut it’s going to be with one person.”

Ino grabbed and examined the now healthy looking flowers and set them inside a large vase, “Yeah, you’re not a slut, but who knows. You can learn to be one on the _weekends only_ at least. Live a little forehead. Prince charming doesn’t come as a knight in shining armor, but that doesn’t mean you need to look at the unattainable, either.”

A wave of sadness flooded Sakura’s face and Ino gave an eye roll and sighed, “If you’re going to be pouting already, leave. Come back when you’ve grown a pair.”

* * *

Sakura made her way to her bedroom and wished she could be Ino. She was carefree, fashionable, and cool. Sakura made it a point to avoid asking Ino’s hoe stories because it always lead to the same annoying and undesired advice. It’s not like Ino wasn’t dying to tell her anyway.

Her petite figure plopped readily on her bed and she gave an immature cry. It was no secret to the village that she was utterly inexperienced when it came to long and short relationships.

Sakura hugged herself as she stared at the ceiling in her lusterless room. Whenever Ino told her about her ludicrous, rendezvous love affairs and multiple one night stands _in a night_ , she couldn't help but picture herself in Ino’s place doing those things.

“I’m not a slut, but who knows, right?” she thought in a sheepish smile.

The pressure was absurd especially as a virgin. Sakura knew a fair amount of people of the same sex and opposite sex that were still virgins, but the problem was that the greater part of those people were regulars or non-shinobi.

Sakura’s generation has had sex by what Ino’s big mouth has told her. And Ino didn’t need sources, she was her own source and Ino made it so that she was at the top of her game with Konoha's news and rumors.

“Has Sasuke done it? With who? Where?” She thought painfully as she unlocked her arms from herself and took a pillow. She stuffed her face into it, tossed and turned as she curled into a ball and whined.

Her lips curled as she let out a whimper, her heart simply couldn’t bear it. They were supposed to have their first time together.

This was hopeless. Even Hinata’s virginity was long gone and it bid farewell along with Naruto’s. How could this possibly happen? How could a babbler-mouthed, whiskered idiot, and a shy, muttering fainter surpassed her in that department?

Even Lee has lost it. Although, not with a girl. He was drunk on Kiba’s birthday party and that idiot thought it would be an unforgettable night if he spiked the punch.

Unfortunately, for Lee and Shino.

Another turn of events was Naruto, whom had arrived early and had a cup to many. The hapless Hinata had made her way to Naruto when he drunkenly expressed his yearning desire to be with Sasuke.

They haven’t spoken since.

* * *

Sakura stayed sprawled on her bed until her mind was clear of thoughts and feelings.

She starved to be touched and not necessarily in a sexual manner. She was lacking affection and it made her feel all alone and melancholic.

Sakura propped herself up to look at her appearance. Her reflection was so-so. That’s all. Her breasts weren’t entirely eensy-weensy or substantial. Every Kunoichi that she knew and has come across has had an eyeful in skill and looks.

So, why was she unfortunate in her own way?

After some time of harsh inspection of herself, she decided to shut down her unforgiving mind and call it a day. She optimistically hoped that tomorrow would be okay and when the time came to face Kakashi she would know that all will be well. If she couldn’t bring herself to know, she hoped he would convince her one way or another that all is good between them.


	2. Unexpected

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What just happened? Does Sakura like it?  
> Does she like him?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried. I just went with it.

An alarming yelp escaped her as she sat upright, the first thing Sakura did was groan that it wasn’t yet time to start her shift at the hospital. Falling asleep again will only give her anxiety, because she had a tendency to sleep heavily. Sakura learned quickly in her apprenticeship not to piss off Tsunade-Sama. If Naruto was terrified of making so much of a peep when they had to share a room together then he would certainly be careful for his life to not breathe incorrectly. A bad start in the morning could possibly mean a shitty day for everyone and nobody wanted to be victims from the sudden impact of hurled objects.

Sakura stretched her arms over her head and had an odd, but dissatisfied sensation when she stood up to take a look at her bed. It wasn’t properly slept on. She had gone to bed wearing the clothes from the day before, and though she had plenty of sleep it made her feel as if she had done something wrong.

“I’m not lazy,” she thought heading to the bathroom. It was only acceptable for her to be a sloth when she was physically tired from work, and dismissed the thought since she was caught the day before by none other than Kakashi Hatake.

Sakura held the sides of her face, squishing her cheeks, “Cut yourself some slack, woman.”

A light, but nervous titter escaped her as she stripped from her clothes, kicked them in a pile, and turned the water on.

* * *

A curse left her lips as she nearly slipped sideways when she stepped out of the shower. Sakura’s mood enlivened as she wrapped a towel around her figure. She then proceeded to dab the trickling droplets of water that were running in disarray down her feet with the spare towel that was meant to dry her hair. Then, she brushed her mid length hair with a comb and brushed her teeth.

Her apartment wasn’t close to the hospital by any means, but the rent was cheap. The room she slept in was bigger than the rest of her place which was good enough for her because it’s where she spent most of her time anyway. After rummaging through her closet, she found a skirt that reached above her knees and was easy to move around in. Her hands fetched a sleeveless red t-shirt that was breezy and thin in material.

It was plain and not revealing, but she liked the way it hung close to her skin. These were the type of shirts that drove her mother and Ino crazy. “Wear something more ladylike. Dress your age!” they would say along those lines. Sakura, however, preferred comfort.

Because cooking wasn’t her forte, Sakura ate a banana and an apple. Realizing that her carton of orange juice was nearly empty, she decided to head straight to the grocery store.

* * *

The small, but friendly building was empty at this early hour, except for a couple of elderly women and men ordering cups of coffee to drink while they read the newspaper.

Sakura walked unhurriedly to the back of the store where all cold and frozen products are found. Her hand grasped the handle of the see through door, though she needed to pull the door several times or else it refused to budge open. The icy breeze hit her entirely and she shivered, still being freshly out of the shower, she took the carton and let the door go.

Her naturally big, green eyes widened considerably when she turned to look sideways for no particular reason really. A laid back Kakashi was staring back at her. She instantly felt the need to take off, but stood her ground.

Pinkness tinted her face. And she hoped it wasn’t a major crimson look. Some people have told her it was obvious to discern whether she was telling a lie or not.

“Be cool, I'm an adult,” she affirmed in her head, unaware she was hugging the condensing carton.

The nonchalant, silver-haired, bachelor couldn’t help an amused inner chuckle as he watched his poor former student struggle to open a simple refrigerator door. By the looks of it, she wasn’t expecting to meet him here. 

One hand was holding a plastic basket full of vegetables and a milk carton. Taking out his hidden hand from his pocket to give his usual wave, followed by his cheerful, yet lazy sounding, “Yo!”

Sakura’s inexperienced eyes continued to stare at him. She suddenly hastened to him without batting her eyes.

Her lips were pursed nervously, “Kakashi-Sensei, Hi! Good morning.”

“Hm? So formal, this early? I don’t like it,” he smiled and crinkled his knowing eye.

Sure, he hasn’t forgotten in the tiniest degree what brought forth this kiss up behavior. It was only natural for Sakura to have certain adult needs and curiosities. Although, “ **V’s & D’s**” was one of the last places on earth he’d think of finding her.

He considered bringing it up to tease her, but if she couldn’t handle the joke then he would risk not seeing her for days or weeks. So, he went with a _there-there_ pat on the head, “It’s alright. I’m heading to drop these off at Naruto’s place, care to join me?”

A weight visibly lifted off of Sakura’s shoulders and weight, she smiled widely and thankfully at him, “Yeah, okay. I have time to kill.”

She turned her heels and fell into step with him as he grabbed a few more items. “Sensei, since you are so cool and the bestest, AND I am without a doubt, you’re favorite student of all time, will you buy my orange juice?” Sakura innocently batted her eyelashes.

“Well, you’re not wrong,” he said sensibly.

Kakashi Hatake was an unlikely person to be taken advantage of unless he allowed it. Fortunately for his students, he gave a lot of leeway because they had grown on him over the years, to his disappointment. He’d never counted on caring as he currently did. There were these rare moments when he considered that, ~~THEM~~ , a weakness. He thanked the gods above that they were no longer little brats anymore. He felt oddly proud at himself how he stood by them without quitting and going back to Anbu, “should get an award or a pay raise for that,” he thought affirmatively.

* * *

Out of the store with their paper bags worth of groceries, they headed towards Naruto’s place. He glanced at Sakura, who was wearing a pretty smile and looking at their surroundings as if she were a first time visitor at the Hidden Leaf Village.

This was something he couldn’t understand from her and Naruto. How they looked child-like and untouched by pain or sadness. Both were the light of Team 7 while Sasuke, Sai, Yamato, and him were dull in appearance and personalities.

Despite the fact that Naruto was able not to have a ounce of hatred due to his extraordinary life circumstances, he found Sakura to be the most spectacular of the team for being often overlooked regardless of coming from a civilian family background while seamlessly overcoming obstacles in their field of work. A remarkable young woman, she unknowingly will make history in their village for other girls and women, just as Tsunade was doing so in embedding the clear-cut, living proof that striving as a leader in this country was a real possibility.

Sakura, was powerful, but she still needed to be treated with care. Naruto, for instance, is good of heart, but Kakashi has lost count the many times Naruto was dangerously close to losing control and giving in to the demon fox. Naruto, faced something like an emotional blackout when someone he cared for was hurt or in perilous danger.

Sakura was the opposite, she was like an embankment of emotions, if the dam overflowed or was destroyed, her spirit would be put to death. She only had the amassed storage of chakra, and if it ran out, it eventually does, she would have nothing to fall back to. No demon fox, no special eyes to open a portal as a means to escape.

Sai on the other hand, has a lot of progress to make emotionally, but his loyalty to his friends, as well as the well-being of the village, has become his greatest virtue. Sai was trained in Root to withstand torture and mental intrusions, so in a sense he was fine, except if he ran out of ink to cast his techniques.

“Kakashi-Sensei? Sensei? We’re here,” Sakura gave him a mystified look, “You, okay?”

He nodded absentmindedly. Sometimes zoning in to reality took some real effort and sometimes he was too lazy to even try, “hmm, sorry.”

He adjusted the paper bags to lift a closed fist to knock at the green door, but just as his hand was about to make contact with the door they heard the unimaginable.

A muffled groan traveled to their ears, “Slow down, Naruto!”

“Can’t. I need this, Iruka-Sensei,” panted in a low grating voice.

They both stood stunned. Sakura’s cold fingertips touched his knuckles lightly and he let her lower his arm to his side. She then hooked her arm and practically dragged him stealthily down the stairs away from their numbing discovery.

Kakashi came to his senses and said faintly, “Sounds like Iruka-Sensei is taking care of him,” he looked down inside the paper bags and glanced down to his side to look at Sakura, who was still clutching his arm like a body pillow.

“We must have imagined it?” She looked blankly at a distance.

He gave a childish head tilt, “I have quite an imagination, Sakura, but I’ve never gone that way…Have you?”

Sakura snapped her head to face him and pouted angrily. She was redder than her shirt.

“So, Naruto is gay. Do we wait for him to tell us? You did hear about what happened at Kiba's birthday party? and I thought my heartbreak was bad. Should we tell him something? Maybe not to be sleeping around to ease his void? What about the food?” Sakura had a look of wonderment.

“I suppose we should let him come out of the closet on his own time. Ino told Genma and he told me. I already talked to him and he said he was fine, like always. He doesn't want to hear it...Um, well,” He couldn’t help but tune in the way his arm was in contact with her chest, “I’m not going back there. It’s not good for my heart or my ears. As for the food, you are free to have it if you like.”

Sakura unlinked her arm and smiled at him, “Yeah, it’s free food! Come on, my shift will start soon.”

Together, they made their way to Sakura's place which was farther than Naruto’s place. It wasn’t like he had anything to do, he had already paid a visit to his dead friends and dad at the cemetery.

* * *

Sakura’s new place was through an uninteresting alleyway made of concrete walls, two opposite buildings faced each other. Sakura stopped at the single door that was on sight on the right building. He peaked back before they had rounded inside the broad alley and saw that the hokage faces were being blocked by a concrete bridge connecting the four story building Sakura was residing in and another building across the unpaved street.

“I’m not getting abducted and murdered, am I?” Kakashi joked as Sakura un-pocketed a key from thin air and unlocked the door.

Sakura stuck her kitten-like tongue at him and winked, “Come and find out,” she gave a giddy, but devilish giggle.

“Well, at least let me re-read Icha Icha one last time,” as they both headed inside Kakashi took notice at the taped boxes yet to be unpacked. The apartment was spacious for a single person living in it. He set down on the table Sakura’s nutritious, free, winnings.

“It’s far away from everything, but it’s cheap. I don’t mind. I’m actually saving up for a house. Want a tour?” She beamed at him with pride.

“As long as there isn’t a basement,” he chuckled. Kakashi handed vegetable after vegetable to Sakura for her to organize in her fridge.

He noticed how the yellow lighting of the fridge cast shadows on the refined muscles of her legs. The sight transfixed him. He appreciated a woman’s legs. As well as the curve of their toned rear.

“Perky and petite,” he thought as he carefully perused her womanly figure, “lovely.”

“Alright, all done. C’mon,” the tour was quick. From the kitchen the living room could be seen, and both were a decent size. Her room was unusually large, larger than the rest of the place, the room by itself could shelter five people.

“Not bad,” he smiled at her.

“Yeah, it’s pretty concealed, isn’t it? Kinda like you, how about we switch?” Sakura grinned confidently as they walked out of her apartment since her time to work was due soon.

He chuckled, “I’ll pass. I’ll walk you?” Kakashi raised his visible eyebrow, not wanting to intrude more than he unexpectedly did. His place wasn’t as eccentric as her, but it was a quiet place, he rarely had to interact with the few neighbors that he had. It was perfect for him and truth be told, a lot of people had made offers to get his place. At this point in his life, he has grown attached just as he had done with Icha Icha.

“Yeah,” she smiled locking the door behind them, “how long have you had your apartment by the way?”

“Hmm, since I was seventeen,” he told her, looking up at the clouds.

Sakura marvel at the fact she knew nothing about him. These little facts made her wonder how Kakashi-Sensei was like as a teenager and what sort of things he had been through.

“Ah, so you’re 49, but at heart, you’re seventeen,” she tittered a little harder when he glared at her un-amusedly.

Kakashi reached to tug gently at her hair, “on second thought, you’re not my favorite.”

“Just messing with you, Kaka-sensei.” They walked in silence until Sakura spoke again, “say, can we spar, we haven’t done that in a while. My stamina is deteriorating. Or do you need me to give you a massage so you don’t hurt your back? grandpa? Scared?” Sakura taunted and spiraled to walk backwards.

“There goes my dignity,” thought kakashi.

“How about I don’t spar with you and you still give me a message? And for your information, a lot of women would kill to be in your place talking to me...you’re envied by my fan girls.”

Sakura fell back to her sensei’s side, “Me? Whatever, you’re just saying that. They have nothing to worry about, it’s not like we have a chance with each other. I mean, there’s an age difference, experience. You know, word says you’re like Genma except you don’t boast. You two don’t know how to love one person, apparently. This is me, are we training or not?”

They both halted outside an entrance reserved for employees only. Kakashi paused in thought, taking in Sakura’s, correct, impression. But not entirely right, “I’ll be waiting.”

Kakashi watched Sakura depart, and called out, “Sakura!”

She turned around and mouthed, “yeah?”

“There’s more to me than you are led to believe,” and with that he vanished leaving smoke to dissolve in the air.

Sakura entered the building wondering if she had crossed the line.

After the war, Team 7 had become equals with Kakashi... Had she been harsh? Inappropriate?

* * *

Sakura said her goodbye’s, but not before she changed into some black leggings and raced to the usual training grounds. The weekend was here, and nothing different was going to happen, which infuriated her and made her happy at the same time.

She made a sharp stop and raised her arms, out of breath, “I’m here!” Her eyes darted in all directions trying to look for a familiar silver head of hair or that stupid carrot book.

“About Time,” Kakashi said appearing behind her, holding the book so the edge was touching the top of her head, “it’s so rude to be late.”

“You’re one to talk!” she pointed an accusatory finger at him.

“You are really lacking in practice if you couldn’t sense me. Looks like we’re going back to the basics,” He mocked her playfully, “let’s start by tree walking.” He got in a fighting stance knowing well how to push her buttons to get a fiery reaction out of her, "Reaction time:ZE-RO."

Sakura threw her elbow towards his face, “I need to stretch!” she huffed tiredly, “I haven’t freaking forgotten how to walk on trees!”

“Have you ever seen a lion limber up before it takes down a gazelle?” and with that Kakashi kicked experimentally at her face to which she avoided, jumped back, and glowered.

Sakura aimed consecutive punches at Kakashi’s unaffected demeanor. She only managed to graze his arm and forearm twice. Sakura did a backward somersault and snaked a hand to pull her gloves out from her pouch.

The byproduct of her frustration of not having caused Kakashi a single noticeable scratch sent a couple of trees to be forcefully uprooted from the ground. Rumblings resonated dangerously like tidal waves as the earth shattered and split wide open. The state of disarray painted a hellish picture as if hell itself would come springing to unleash all conceivable savagery.

Sakura puffed hot air. Gloves were ripped and covered in dirt.

By the looks of it she had exerted herself. Her bangs were clinging to her face and her face had also reddened. Sakura had broken up a sweat in less than twenty five minutes.

“Let’s call it a day,” He said fearing for the perfectly unharmed tree, he decided to leap down in front of Sakura. Attentive to her body language in case she wanted to land one last fruitless punch, or kick.

“But! I almost had you! I can keep going!” She winced when she took a step further. It was like her own body was weighing down on her, and the frailty of her current state began to manifest as she trembled from head to toe. No doubt was she going to be incredibly sore for a few days.

Kakashi noticed this, and decided to swoop in and effortlessly carry her bridal style. She fought against him in protest, “No, no, no. I’m dirty! I’m sweaty! I’m heavy!”

Sakura stubbornly shook her head and legs, tugged harshly at his vest and sleeves while pinching him here and there.

The heat of her body radiated strongly against him and caused him to feel constricted in his clothing. Kakashi refused to budge and walked unaffectedly towards her place.

“At least let me cool down first!” She pinched his right masked cheek with her left hand.

Kakashi ran an eye over her face and dim wittingly, but mentally, slapped himself on his head. He lowered Sakura, whose chest was heaving. But she continued trembling as she stood on her own. Her hands flew to take hold at the sides of his vest.

“Are you hurt?” He asked. 

Sakura didn’t even want to imagine the way she looked like and was afraid to pull her compact mirror to check. “It’s nothing serious, I just hurt my hand a little.”

Kakashi nodded and picked up a random hand, “this one?”

“No.” Sakura couldn’t stop or hide the blush that was creeping in as he unbuttoned and peeled her gloves from the wrist and grazed his fingertips along each finger, inspecting them for himself.

“Your knuckles are badly bruised. I would heal you, but I don’t know how,” his touch was barely perceptible as if the tiniest of pressure would cause greater damage.

Her breath caught dryly in her throat, with inquisitive eyes she studied his hand. The same hands that patted and ruffled her hair in an affectionate and assuring way. Those hands that carried her and got her out of the way of impending danger. Rough hands, like hers used to be before the war and now spent nights and days grueling herself in the hospital, rough hands that have swiftly and ruthlessly ended the enemy without a shred of hesitancy.

It was a meager split seconds, and her mind spiraled out of control, exactly like it did when she crushed over Sasuke. Except now she momentarily went gaga for her former teacher. She gulped, “Do you have any water?”

Right then Kakashi appeared boyishly. A 32 year old man cannot, CAN-NOT, possess the capability to look like that in an instant.

“You thirsty?” He smiled his hands hovering above her own and then reaching for a flask that was the same color as his vest.

“Yah,” she answered witlessly. Sakura wanted to face-palm her forehead, but instead it was her knuckles that were about to touch her brow.

“Careful,” he murmured, taking her wrist away from her face with his thumb and index finger. He unscrewed the lid and brought it near her lips, cold metal made her lower lip quiver. That was when Sakura realized she was totally and irrevocably awake. Her nerves caused her chest to constrict excitedly.

Kakashi lifted her chin, tilting her head backwards a bit and he scooted closer to make sure it wouldn’t escape her mouth.

She thought it was silly of him to be so considerate, considering how she was dirty and a spill of water was not going to change that.

It was refreshing. She slowly gulped down and indicated with her hand that she wanted to guzzle some more. But, she made the grave mistake of looking at his face.

Kakashi was gazing intently at her. A serious dark glint detained her attention. The edge of the lid was resting under her bottom lip. His eye was then staring at her wet mouth.

The leaves danced around them in the direction of the breeze. They stood in silence. Without taking his stare from those viridescent eyes, he retreated the flask, closed it and shoved it in his pouch.

His thumb wiped her, wet, lower lip. He peered deep into her eyes as he seized to gently pinch and ended by brushing her lower lip forward with his thumb.

Sakura never knew how sensitive her lips could be!

With a puff of loud smoke he was gone. Sakura looked beyond her surroundings enthralled by this newly discovered feeling. No one has sparked a fire within her by a simple touch. Sure, occasionally she lusted after attractive guys based solely on their attractiveness, and ogled with an awestruck face, primarily from afar. But, this was different!

It wasn’t a stranger. She didn’t imagine or fantasize things.

Back at his apartment, in his bedroom, Kakashi brought a hand to his forehead, “What did you do that for?” he thought frantically. He acted foolishly, but he couldn’t feel guilt or shame. Sakura had painted such a pretty picture that he got mesmerized and lost. The way she looked up at him! Those wide eyes looked willing to wait for more.

She was too...much.

The inside of his hands became damp. He sat down on his bed, brought the same thumb that touched her smooth lips on his own masked ones. Curiosity and wonder made him take a step further by pooling his mask around his neck and pressing the same thumb on his own lips.

To kiss someone so untouched was to kiss the light.

Sakura was light. And, He was not.

He was tainted. 

Kakashi jumped and realizing that he had left Sakura alone.

* * *

Pop!

Sakura was surprised at her lack at being surprised. Usually when Kakashi left he didn’t reappear until much, much later. Kakashi waited for the smoke faded away.

They both locked eyes with one another for a knowing moment of what had transpired literally minutes ago.

“Sakura, I’m sorry,” Kakashi said apologetically.

By then, Sakura had already successfully restored her hurt hands. “It’s okay! I- it was interesting. Honestly, I’m not bothered by it, so don’t worry.”

Kakashi stared not knowing if he heard right, “Interesting? Not bothered?” he thought. A small, smug smile formed on his face. He couldn’t help but chuckle softly. “There’s no more where that came from. I won’t give in even if your beg me to.”

Sakura’s mouth fell open, “The Nerve!” she thought incredulously. “You’re unbelievable! A perv! Don’t get cocky!”

His prominent crow’s feet made her smile involuntarily. This old man was enjoying himself too much!

“I came to take you,” He said casually taking out his hands out of his pockets and walking his typical slouch towards her.

“Say what?” Sakura squeaked.

Kakashi shot his hands in the air, “To your place!”

Once again, he carried her bridal style and Sakura looked at up at the side of his covered face and bit her lip embarrassingly.

“Are you doing this on purpose? To make fun of me?” her voice painfully tightened and faltered with every word.

He turned his head to squarely look at her. His eye widened, “No, not at all.”

They didn’t speak another word for awhile as he took his time walking, with her in his arms.

“It’s just dawning to me that I’m not young anymore. I realize that in many ways I haven’t really lived...You shouldn’t slave yourself away, Sakura. You’re pretty, I think I’ve told you this before.”

Uncertainty filled her head. She didn’t stop herself from tightening her hold around her Kakashi’s neck. As if the act itself would magically answer her fears and worries. She closed her eyes and decided to entrust him with her feelings as she had done with her life repeatedly, “I don’t want to bother you with my troubles, Kaka-Sensei..But, I’m afraid. I just wish I knew how things are going to turn out for me. What if I don’t find a love to return my feelings? I know it’s dumb, because nobody believes in forming those kind of relationships for obvious reasons, but I want to take that chance and have somebody to love. I have plenty of love to give. And everyone is just messing around like it’s the last day on Earth.”

He listened at the unvarnished and frankness of Sakura’s words. None of which made him react in disbelief because this was Sakura and he thought he knew her well. This was who she was. “You’re a kind girl, Sakura. Your selflessness and devotion worries me sometimes. It’s not wrong to believe and you don’t have to invalidate or change your principles.”

When Kakashi arrived outside her doorstep, he asked for the house key. Sakura wiggled her body as an indicator to be placed down. Sakura turned around and he looked puzzled at her back. He looked away once he saw Sakura’s hand making its way to search the inside of her shirt.

A small key came into view, which he snatched, “So the key to your house is in your heart,” he mused. Sakura stuck her tongue out playfully, “You’re going to be one tough girl to win over,” he chuckled, unlocking the door. He held an arm to prevent her from stepping foot inside and in an immediate motion he took her in her arms.

She blushed and stared at him in disbelief, “What are you? A dork? My prince charming?”

Kakashi made his way inside her apartment and into her bedroom, “More like an idiot sandwich. I shouldn’t have awakened your temper. I’m sorry, my lady.”

She laughed, “I like the sound of that. Will you treat me this nicely from now on or once in a blue moon?”

He sat her down at the other side of the bed closest to her bathroom door. He stepped away and did another childish head tilt, “I always treat you nice,” Kakashi said in a feigned voice.

Sakura gave an eye roll, “Thanks, Kaka-sensei, You know, for putting up with me. And I should be apologizing to you actually, for blowing up like I did.”

Kakashi tousled her pink hair, “Like I said, you’re my favorite.” He handed Sakura the silver key to her apartment and let himself out.

“She’s lovely from the inside and out,” he thought. There was going to be someone worthy, and tremendously lucky, for Sakura someday. She only needed to be patient.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tell me what you think? You likey or you nah? 
> 
> What's confusing? Out of character? Simple? Repetitive? Boring? TOO slow?
> 
> si o no?  
> yay or nay?


	3. Grey Skies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Memories

The war brought upon a lash of violent sentiments, it was one of the reasons why she moved away from the hospital. 

She couldn’t blame them. There was only so much shinobi could do. 

It was one of the reasons why Naruto started drinking to forget all he couldn’t prevent. Everyone carried an unreasonable degree of blame. 

But everything was kept inside. 

Naruto was seen in a positive light for ending the war. However, it didn’t prevent him from feeling lonely. 

Nowadays, people walked on a grey area. No one wanted to ease the tension on their shoulders or return to normalcy. It was too soon. 

Still, people wanted to be reassured that they weren’t alone. 

Breathing had been exhausting, as everyone whooped and sang while others fell on their knees, crestfallen and jaundiced. 

They could rest. They could sleep, now. It was over. 

It was cruel how the world continued to be such an innocent color of blue. No wonder Shikamaru stared and stared at the sky. 

Invisible chains seemed to connect the ankles of the surviving soldiers as they dragged their blistered feet home. Together as one. No one willing to get ahead, unwilling to leave a single person behind. 

Since then, as far as her memory recalled, it was when naruto had sought company from Iruka-Sensei. He was the first person to acknowledge him and risk his life to protect him. He was the closest thing to a home and the closest parent figure. 

Neither suspected that she and Kakashi knew. Who else knew about them? 

It was so strange, but she understood. Kinda. 

If she could she would ask Tsunade-Sama to adopt her. She really would. Sakura had thought jokingly about doing so ever since she agreed to teach her. 

Though, Sakura cringed at the idea of doing inappropriate things with her master as Naruto was vocally doing with Iruka. 

So, maybe she didn’t understand entirely. That didn’t mean she was against them. 

Lifting herself from her bed, sore and dirty, she moved with her hands outstretched in front of her not wanting to fall on her face. 

It amazed her how much her skills worsened in such a short amount of time. Only a year and a half, but it was not easy to move on like nothing ever happened. It wasn’t like the movies where things fell back in place overnight or in a few weeks. 

War was something she never wanted to experience again. 

But, on the other hand Naruto became himself again. For that Sakura was thankful to Iruka. 

Even though, everyone knew about naruto’s drunken confession, and a large part of herself wasn’t surprised. It was odd between them for awhile because it meant they were each other's competition. 

Sakura felt insecure even against naruto. If Sasuke learned of Naruto’s feelings would he choose him over her or would he reject them both?

* * *

Sakura prepared the bath and lowered herself slowly into the water. Completely submerging herself and coming up for air. 

A hand flew to her chest. She squeezed her eyes shut. Memories flooded her mind. 

* * *

The end of the great ninja war did not stop the maddly thumping of her heart. How? When all the odds of defeat were stacked against them? Did the universe, perhaps, conspired to give the good of the many the illusion of success? Maybe, it was Naruto’s speech after all that riled everyone’s adrenaline into a narrow common goal: survival. 

To her amazement, Sasuke’s icy words didn’t make her crumble unto the dry ground where she expected the wind to blow her away like the dirt underneath her, that was swept away for a few fleeting seconds blurring the happenings of the battles before them. 

_She’s no use to me. I have never loved her and I never will._

Those two sentences echoed repeatedly in her mind. Her knees bent forward and with a sharp intake of painful breath, understood that words had immeasurable power to defeat the senses. Two sentences bounced, almost punching the walls inside her skull, each time, demanding to break free or at the very least to escape momentarily. 

Two hands had caught her before her knees even considered to bend outwardly. These hands pulled her up from the shocked state that she was in. One arm was draped over her shoulders while another hand rested on the side of her tattered and filthy clothed thigh. Small injuries that appeared like scratches of a ferocious feline came in varying lengths on her exposed skin. 

“Sakura, Sakura!” this tender yet firm voice belonged to Kakashi Hatake, who was attempting to revive her from her shocked state of mind and also keep her upright from her buckling legs. 

Sakura let out a dry, silent, sob and forcefully killed the numb realization that Sasuke was forever out of her reach. But, unfortunately, her body wasn’t yet at sync with her focus. She, then, decided to shift her attention to Kakashi's concerned voice. She realized the position that she was in. Half of her weight was supported by Kakashi, she most certainly would be sitting on his lap if he weren’t half crouching to keep her steady. 

She was nothing, but a shattered pink petal, who wanted more than anything to be away. _Just away from it all._

“Oh, Kakashi-sensei. I’m sorry,” she huffed. They parted, but Kakashi’s hand rested on her mid back just in case and she was thankful because she didn’t want to be left alone to snap herself back to reality. Kakashi’s hand and presence was reassuring and aided in her reassessing their current situation. 

Sasuke was standing at a great distance, watching them with his discolored eyes, and without a shrug of importance vanished. 

“He casted a genjutsu, but you managed to bring yourself back. Well done,” his visible eye upturned as he lightly patted her head. 

She furrowed her eyebrows in astonishment, “I did?” and in seeing her teacher nod, she was swept by temporary pride. Sakura couldn’t recall what the illusionary technique was composed of, but a cold shiver ran up her spine, thought better not to dwell on it. If she uncovered it, it was undoubtedly going to be unpleasant. Perhaps, her mind was guarding her well-being by blocking it. She gave a sad smile.

What was she hoping to expect from someone who had unquestioningly charged to aim at her life on more than one occasion? It was only up to the sole Uchiha survivor to change on his own. 

The end of the great ninja war taught her one thing. Sasuke was an asshole.

She had been unbelievable for the longest time and not in a good sense. She was glad the self acknowledgement eventually came sooner rather than later. 

But, Sakura experienced Sasuke-withdrawals like a hopeless drug addict. 

She was trying her best to get over him. 

It was harder than people believed. It was always easier said than done. 

She noticed how people acted when she blushed and became more alert at the sound of Sasuke’s name. They rolled their eyes. They gathered in groups to whisper in hushed tones at her hopelessness. 

“There’s something wrong with her head. Loving someone who wants nothing to do with her!”

* * *

The water made her shiver. She didn’t care. It was Friday. 

A pang in her heart made hands curl up in fists and her teeth to grind. 

She was a healer, but at the end of the war Naruto had the damned demon fox to heal him and Sasuke had Karin to bite, and bite, as many times he deemed necessary. 

It hurt, she wasn’t going to lie. 

But, at least she took care of everyone else. Especially, Kakashi. His physical state was the most time consuming. 

Even though, Sakura spent hours after hours fixing him. The idiot would revert back to covering his eye.

Kakashi was adjusting to the fact that Kakashi of the Sharingan was no more. 

She remembered how Kakashi faced away from her when she strode in his room. 

“Kakashi, how are you feeling?”

She waited patiently, but no answer ever came. So, she walked around his bed to get a look at him. 

He stiffened. His eyes were shut tight. 

He was clearly struggling, “Sakura, I need a moment.”

“Tell me what’s wrong. I can help you.”

Without thinking twice she reached and brushed his hair. He looked so vulnerable. It was so unlike him. She knew then and there that she would fight against anyone and anything to keep Kakashi safe. 

His breathing grew heavy. And his hand found hers. Sakura furrowed her eyebrows, maybe he didn’t want to be touched. 

Kakashi’s gloveless hand didn’t move her hand away. It simply rested on hers. 

“It’s okay. Everything is going to be okay. You’re not alone,” his hand, rough and calloused, squeezed hers in thanks. 

His voice broke, “I-I had promised myself to take care of Obito’s eye. It was my birthday gift before he died...That asshole was alive all this time.”

“He changed in the end, didn’t he? You didn’t say your goodbyes in bad terms. You helped him change. You saved him.” 

Kakashi brought her hand against his eyes and it stayed there until his hold loosened. 

He had fallen asleep and Sakura pulled up a chair beside him. 

She stared, with tears in her eyes, as she felt the wetness on her hand and saw the tears on his face. 


	4. Messing with me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Falling back to some old teenage tendencies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm a slacker, but I'm still at it ha

“Leave me alone,” Kakashi brushed off Genma’s hand from his shoulder.

The senbon grinning idiot had a knack for sticking to him like gum when he had nothing else to do, or anyone else for that matter.

Genma winked and grinned boyishly. “Let’s catch up, man. Aren’t I your best friend?” Kakashi breathed in calmly through his nose and could feel a vein on his fist.

He couldn’t take a stroll through his village because someone would latch up to him. Like flies attracted to trash. And It was always when he wanted to be alone the most.

“I should have stayed inside my room,” thought Kakashi.

If it wasn’t Gai, it was Genma, and if he was really unlucky, it was those two, and Asuma. People usually assumed Asuma to be the most responsible and mature one of their generation, but that was only because people didn’t know him like he did, and boy, was he a little shit, too.

* * *

One time when Gai had left on a mission. Asuma and Genma got together, and that was never a good sign.

Together they got busy.

He had been reading in his living room when a loud peck and fluttering was heard outside his door.

Messenger birds were trained to recognize faces and could easily memorize locations, they were allowed to use chakra to alert specific shinobi of their presence so as not to wait all day outside.

He had prayed that it was nothing and continued to get in the mood with his hands.

But, no. Because tiny little chirps, then issued outside. The unmistakable sound a chick.

Kakashi got up and flung the door open, “What the fuck?”

A big messenger bird was snuggling against a single, yellow chick.

The messenger snapped its head and professionally distanced itself from the tiny chick, who was now chirping besides its new found mom. He grabbed the letter from the messenger birb and pried it open.

Kakashi violently jerked his head away from his findings, and sternly glared in disgust, “No.”

People didn’t lie when they said that things could always get worse. Because they did.

Dozens of pictures slid from the envelope and onto his hand, containing the Green Beast of Konoha in numerous, and unspeakable positions. Images he never wanted to see,Gai blowing kisses in speedos, flexing things that should never be flexed. A glimpse was all it took for him to make it his life’s purpose to be Gai worst living nightmare.

A glimpse of the first picture made Kakashi swear on his life to shave off Gai’s caterpillar eyebrows the second he came back. He shoved the pictures inside, turned the enveloped around and found the shittiest puns.

“Chicken shit” and “Chick-y bastard.” Along thirteen others.

Kakashi looked around when barks of laughter erupted and Genma and Asuma walked around a tree.

Like he said they were little shits.

“Oh, man! Guess whose idea was to send you the pictures? Asuma’s! Mine was the puns and w-wait!”

Genma dived toward the chick while Asuma shut an eye.

Kakashi’s foot came crashing down and stopped just above the oblivious and fuzzy little chick that wouldn’t cease its damn chirping, “Dude! We were just messing around!”

Genma’s hand was outstretched on the ground, his hand extending and not quite able to reach the small chick.

“Yeah, a prank. Friendly pranks, because we’re friends, right, Kakashi?” Asuma winced darting his eyes to and fro from underneath Kakashi’s foot.

Did these fuckers knew who they’re talking to? Have they forgotten he had been in Anbu?

He smiled evilly, his eye gleamed maliciously. To get these imbeciles off his back, necessary threats had to be made, “Take him before I finish him.”

“Coward, don’t make it easy on yourself. He could actually be a she. I could tell you in full certainty, but I haven’t checked,” Genma scooped up the annoying birb and unzipped a fanny pack and softly dumped it in.

They both walked away muttering in disagreement at how Kakashi handled a harmless situation.

Kakashi smirked, feeling better. No one pranked him and got away with it. He was the only one allowed to do the pranking and when he did, people dealt with it. His way or no way.

Asuma chased him off a few days later when Kakashi had mailed Gai’s semi nude pictures to a disturbed and pissed off Kurenai.

* * *

The brunette took pleasure in being in the Copy Ninja’s presence. Women tended to ogle at the duo like a pair of celebrities. This left a strong impression in women and it gave him more options to pick from the crowd.

“Hey, hey, I was wondering. You wouldn’t mind if I date Sakura?” Genma said, his smile was oozing with confidence as he winked at a modest teenager who blushed and scurried away.

Kakashi held back the instinct of tripping Genma amid walk. Kakashi narrowed his eye, “You have a date with her already?”

Years of practice has tested Kakashi to manage his sensitivity to sound. The clanking senbon against Genma’s unnicked teeth was hardly noticeable now. “No, but it’s me. C’mon, like she’ll resist me. I’ll treat her nice.”

His ear almost twitched. On second thought…

“You mean in bed? She’ll kill you if you treat her like one of your conquests.” He would help, of course. Along with the help of Tsunade and team 7.

This was probably a joke. It had to be. Asuma was probably nearby.

“I mean where else? Get your headband out of the way, man. Seriously. It’s rude and stupid now.” Kakashi answered Genma’s protests by slouching a little more.

He suddenly stopped and nonchalantly met Genma’s brown eyes, “Genma, stay away from her. Or I’ll go out of my way to make you disappear.”

Genma stared quizzically, mouth slightly agape, “What you interested in her? I didn’t think you cared about who she dates or sleeps with.”

Kakashi simply shrugged. The dangerous and intense air of Kakashi’s threat dissipated as fast as it came, but not entirely, “I’m looking out for her. I don’t want her to catch anything from you.”

Genma shot a scornful look of doubt, “Look who’s talking. You’re as bad as me. I’m like holy water compared to you. Hypocrite. ”

“What about Ino?” Those two were an on and off item, but Ino unquestionably lasted beyond any of Genma’s previous relationships and one night stands. Both were alike in many ways than one, they were the most conspicuous pair in the village.

“Ino’s got her eyes on Sai right now. We were just helping each other. I don’t know what she sees in him.” Genma’s attitude slumped angrily.

Kakashi inquired further, maybe he’d get sour enough and leave, “Shizune?”

Genma looked up to glare at the hokage’s tower, where Shizune was known to be at this moment, “You know she doesn’t have time for me. Her life is her career.” Genma had grown fond and overprotective of Shizune when they were kids. She used to get bullied for being smaller and scraggly than most girls. Genma resented her for taking off and prioritizing Tsunade and her gambling travels. He clearly missed her.

Genma’s face lit up instantly when he caught sight of vibrant pink hair. “Just my luck! Sakura! Can I talk to you?” If he had seen Sakura first, he would have derailed Genma. To his annoyance Genma gallantly made his way to Sakura.

Kakashi stayed put in the middle of the walkway bustling with people hoping to blend in. Who was he kidding? He was tall even when he was slouching, and his hair…

Sakura immediately did take notice of him, her eyes shone, or maybe it was his imagination, or the sun. But, she quickly and respectfully returned her attention to what Genma was trying to tell her.

He couldn’t see Genma’s face and he didn’t need to when Sakura turned her heels and left.

Genma returned shy and with a half smile, “I like her.”

Kakashi was pleased if not a little proud, “Only because she rejected you.”

“Shut up.”

* * *

Sakura only came to the stupid club because Kakashi had tapped on her window and casually invited her.

She wasn’t prepared to find herself sitting in between Genma or Kakashi.

A simple hello from Genma caused her so much trouble. Now she knew better, if she had been a rude bitch she could have entirely avoided this predicament.

“Oh, yeah? Sakura, whose arm would you have around your shoulders? Mine or chicken-shit Kakashi?” Genma smirked, leaning in snuggly in Sakura’s direction while narrowing his eye’s challengingly at Kakashi. Genma was annoyingly good at holding grudges.

The pheromones ran wildly and persitingly in the air or maybe it was the unexpected spotlight that she was receiving. She felt bombarded with attention, it was uncomfortable, “Neither.”

Genma leaned further against Sakura, hot air reaching her ears, “But if you had to choose between the two.”

Sakura fought back the need to face Genma, his proximity was dangerously close to making her feel girlish.

Sakura replied without missing a beat, “Kakashi-Sensei, I suppose.”

Genma raised an eyebrow. He mouthed a silent “ah,” his senbon balanced in his mouth. He was clearly entertained and finding Sakura fun to tease, “Got the hots for your Sensei, Sakura? You don’t have to lie. Everyone in this table knows Kakashi is popular with the ladies.”

All eyes were on her and her heart was running loose. She glanced around the table and cursed inwardly as no one jumped to her rescue. Gai, Kurenai, Asuma, Yamato where waiting expectantly. She snapped her eyes and glued them on her untouched drink. Her fingers pressed on the water drops forming on the glass, wiping them. She must look like a timid idiot doodling on her beer glass.

Kakashi was half expecting Yamato to step in to Sakura’s defense seeing how he was considered the better teacher of team 7. He half expected, no wanted, Sakura to head-butt Genma right on his face, “Watch it, Shinarui.”

Genma held up a finger, “Okay, but it’s one thing to choose between the two of us and another to have his arm around you. So, Kakashi if you dare...or are you chicken shit?”

Sakura’s face flushed. “God, you could be Ino’s long lost twin brother. I’m not here to play truth or dare, so stop looking at me like I’m going to be the highlight of your week.” Sakura directed her finger at everyone around the table.

“Ino and I are compatible in more ways than one, sweetheart.” Genma said smugly, but moved on when Asuma threw him a look. “I think Sakura is the only woman on this Earth that is actually repulsed by the idea of being touched by you, man. Let me tell you Sakura, Kakashi’s gotten in bed with a princess and the queen when he was only nineteen. Though not at the same time, but he did them on the same day.”

Kurenai looked distatesfully at Kakashi, “Is this true? I always wondered. Wasn’t the husband in the palace, too?”

“It doesn’t concern anyone,” Kakashi coolly brushing off everyone’s searching eyes.

Sakura pursed her lips together and clenched her fists, “This is pretty boring and immature. Aren’t you two, too old, to be trying to outscore each other? I could be in my pj’s at home doing nothing.”

Genma’s eyes twinkled and pouted, “Ouch, can I come with? I want to do nothing, too, but not alone, of course.”

“Okay, I’m leaving.” Sakura shot upright, annoyed of being the joke of the night. Genma’s eyes trailed her behind and he smiled approvingly. At least Kakashi tried in his own way to help her.

She looked at everyone at the table hating how infantile they were and how much she has blushing over arms being draped around her. It’s not like Genma was asking her who she’d rather kiss so, she sat down again.

Her hand reached Kakashi’s arm and calmly wrapped it around herself. “There. Now I got to live with all of Kaka-Sensei’s cooties. Happy now?” Sakura rolled her eyes and shot Genma a quick glare.

“Forehead! Getting cozy with Kakashi-Sensei? Finally! I’m so proud, You’re doing something SO bold for ONCE. Praise you,” Ino appeared flustered and swayed drunkenly behind Asuma.

Great a drunk Ino. Exactly what she needed. “Shut it, Pig!”

Genma blew a kiss at Ino, who winked and blew a kiss in return; she looked like a pompous cheerleader, “I’m surprised you haven’t punched Genma yet.”

Sakura huffed humorlessly, “I’m pretty sure Kakashi-Sensei is going to kick the shit out of him.”

Ino’s unenergetic sway of her hip was not meeting the rhythm of the music. She came to a halt and limply leaned against Asuma. “You know, it’s kinda perverted to call him Sensei when you’re practically on him. It’s that what you’re into Sakura? Like to play student?” Ino’s arm snaked around Asuma’s neck and brushed brusquely against Kurenai’s face.

Kurenai crossed her arms over chest, shot Ino a mean look before elbowing Asuma in the gut. Asuma gave a short grimace of pain, but quickly shifted uncomfortably in his seat attempting to put distance between him and Ino, “Ino, I think you’ve had enough. Where’s Shikamaru and Choji?”

Ino unhooked her arm and nodded towards a table, “Choji passed out and Shikamaru is napping?”

Sakura squinted her eyes in disbelief, “who the hell sleeps in a bar?”

Asuma closed his eyes and smiled knowingly, “Wake him and have him take you home, I’ll take care of Choji.”

“Yes, sir. Or should I say Asuma-Sensei.” Ino placed a hand on her hip and slanted onwards, “Hey, Sakura, I bet you’re acting skills are SO mediocre you can’t pull off pretending to date Kakashi. Oh, sorry, was it Kaka-Sensei? If you do,” she paused importantly, “I’ll cut my bangs just above my eyes. Or more.”

Asuma sighed, rolling his shoulders and the unlit cigarette in his mouth, preparing to carry Choji was no easy feat, “Ino, stop talking.”

Inner Sakura was jumping in victory, “Will you let me cut them?”

“Only if you have the balls, chestless,” Ino’s single, visible, blue-eye scanned intensely through Sakura’s chest. She gave Sakura a pitiful look and shook her head.

Sakura hugged her chest from Ino’s glassy eye, “You’ll be sorry, Ino, because I will do it and I will cut your bangs. I’ll take anyone who tries to stop me.”

Ino feigned a shiver and rubbed her arms, “Oooh, I’m sooo scared.”

Genma was clearly enjoying himself, his eyes were practically eating Ino’s figure. He was smirking appreciatively.

Kurenai looked on with mild interest, Yamato smiled nervously as he mixed his drink with his shapeshift finger.

Gai was dozing off while chanting, “The power of youth! Youth, youth, youth!” banging an empty glass against the table. 

Kakashi’s slouch was the same except he looked like he zoned to Icha Icha dreamland.

Sakura glared at Kakashi. She breathed in deeply trying to contain her emotions in check, but she needed to have Kakashi’s okay. “Kakashi-Sensei! Kaka-sensei!”

Ino guffawed soundlessly and Sakura was itching to throw her full drink at her face, “Kakashi!”

Sakura flicked her finger against the metal plate of his headband.

“Hmm?” Kakashi crinkled his eye unapologetically, and lolled on purpose.

“How can you be so unaware of what’s happening?”

Oh, he was aware. He simply didn’t know what to do with himself.

“So, um, can we pretend for awhile?” Sakura clasped her hands together pleadingly as if a one in a million opportunity presented itself.

“Anything for my favorite student,” he chuckled and visually threw daggers in Genma’s way, who was smirking pervertedly. Genma’s mouth formed an “oooh” and mimicked Ino, he rubbed his shoulders and shivered vigorously. He stopped then and mocked noiselessly, “Anything for my favorite student” while he raised his senbon and an eyebrow.

Sakura did a small dance in her head, without so much as a warning she threw herself at Kakashi, who jumped high in his seat at the tight embrace, flailing his arms and settling as casual and quickly as possible. His chest almost opened like a door for his poor heart to flee away.

Yamato coughed his drink without closing his eyes, which made him look a little insane and purple.

Sakura stuck out her tongue at Ino and held out a peace sign. This wasn’t too hard. It felt like the most normal thing in the world. Oh, was she going to win and snip a little too much for Ino’s liking. She pinched her lips together trapping an explosive, triumphant laugh.

“Sakura!” hearing the voice of Tsunade made her jump out of her skin. She meant to take a seat next to Kakashi, but fell more into his lap. She tried to wiggle or slide, but Kakashi held her firmly in place, his jaw clenched shut. A nervous shudder ran up his spine in panic. A creeping pleasure made him pray for his life.

Everyone’s head turned, wide eyed and afraid for Sakura and Kakashi.

Ino and Genma were both clutching their own bellies. The timing couldn’t be more perfect.

Sweet, free, entertainment.

“Explain,” Tsunade looked ready to take action, which made Sakura stammer in a high pitch voice, “We are dating, Tsunade-Sama.”

Tsunade blinked once, twice, “Since when?”

Sakura gulped loudly, “Today.”

In a calmer state she would have sat modestly away from Kakashi, but her mind wasn’t working. Instead she hugged Kakashi’s arm for proof of their newly discovered relationship. Maybe it was to ease her nerves, which were all over the place. She could always blurt out the truth, she was excellent at rambling for miles a second when she was petrified, especially in Tsunade’s presence.

Tsunade stared at the absurdly close proximity of her pupil and the silver haired brat, “Today?”

Sakura buried the side of her face against Kakashi’s muscled arm, not daring to blink. She nodded energetically.

“Hatake you watch your hands or you’ll catch mine. Other than that I think you are well suited for each other, you’ll make prodigious children. I'm sure.”

Tsunade rested an angry look at Kakashi. All kinds of promises and warnings flashing through her golden amber eyes. “It was about time Sakura, and above all, you. You overdue brat. Good, good, carry on,” she captured Kakashi’s sole eye one last time and held it as she mastered a final deadly expression. Before leaving them she barked, “don’t bother me. I’m here to drink!”

Kakashi didn’t realize his hand had ran to find shelter in Sakura’s thigh. His palm pressed hard on the inside of her leg, “I guess we are dating now.” His soul was about to give out when he finally processed that he was miraculously in the clear, he slowly removed it, hoping Sakura wouldn’t come to her senses just yet and beat him senseless.

If Kakashi had left his warm, and strangely possessive hand on her leg, or that’s how it felt to her, Sakura wouldn’t have minded to have it exactly where it was. So she could memorize the heat and weighty feel of his hand for an hour or so, “We could stage our breakup?” she looked at him, some healthy color was returning to her face.

She felt like she failed Kakashi by putting him in such a position in public. People were going to talk. Everyone who has worked with Kakashi, knew straight away that his privacy was unquestionably important to him.

Sakura shifted on the center of his lap, feeling blameworthy, she didn’t want to be responsible for more rumors even if Tsunade had shockingly looked over them like they weren’t a big deal. Like there wasn’t a list of reasons why it was inconvenient for them to be together. She must have had sake before showing up. Yes, that had to be it.

Sakura snapped out of her worries when Kakashi pinched at her hip, she saw him tensed up and wrinkled her forehead, not understanding.

Kakashi was bringing into light every image and memories that would kill his hard on. He thought of death, the smell of spoiled food, trashy public restrooms, and Gai in speedos.

Sakura gasped and jumped. The burning sensation, pressing hard against her bottom was there. How could she not notice it? She was engrossed into her own head that she blatantly stayed firmly and directly put on Kakashi’s clothed groin.

She moved away as relaxed as she could master next to Kakashi.

For awhile, she looked on watching Ino shake Shikamaru up and Asuma squatting as a snoring Choji was pulled fully onto him.

She brought the back of her hand to her lips, trying to hide herself from Kakashi in some way. She gently bit the skin on her knuckles and forced herself to glance sideways as quickly as possible at Kakashi.

Kakashi’s eye was closed. He still looked tense and miserable. And it was her fault.

Sakura was painfully aware of Tsunade’s presence even though the blonde was already busying herself and a newly arrived Shizune to some drinks.

Genma left then, leaving Ino puffing her chest out in annoyance.

Sakura couldn’t stand it anymore so she dragged Kakashi away from the seats and outside without saying goodbye to anyone.

Kakashi happily let Sakura haul him to the icy breeze outside, he winced. He should have stayed in his room all day reading in peace. A breakup this soon was going to guarantee him a death sentence, “Tsunade is going to put me in a coma. I’m not ready.”

Sakura offered him a smile that didn’t meet her words or her eyes, “No, she won’t. Besides I said dating so it’s fine.”

Sakura walked fast pulling him in her urgent stride without thinking until they were inside her living room. She was safe and sound and almost panic free.

Kakashi was conflicted. He wanted to do so many things right now, and his mind was conjuring fantasies that were spiraling out of his control. A few frustrated pants escaped him and he made his way into her restroom. He wasted no time in asking for permission. Sakura knew why. And she flushed brightly, feeling hot that she knew exactly what was going to happen as the door to her bathroom closed shut.

She held her hot face, squeezing her eyes shut because she hadn’t thought things through. Everything was her fault. If only she’d walked out of the bar and said goodbye or later to Kakashi, he’d be in his own place taking care of his problem.

An hour or two passed by and she didn’t move from the living room. Sakura knew he’d transported himself long ago to his place from her restroom, but still, she felt so dirty.

* * *

The following day, she stayed put in her bedroom, rolling around, smiling at the image of Kakashi’s rough hand, unzipping and dropping his pants around his ankles and relieving himself in her toilet before she flung and kicked her legs, groaning ruefully into her pillow. She practically handled Kakashi like some kind of purse. What was she thinking? She created this mess when she threw herself on him. How could she face him again?

She went to work for three days and to her relief he was nowhere to be seen. Until one night. Knocks tapped against her window, a familiar tune made her take hold of her thin bed covers to cover half of her face. “I’m being stupid, I can’t avoid him forever,” she thought.

Maybe he came to apologize, though why would he? It wasn’t his fault, and it said a lot about him for seeking her first when it always came down to her to chase people down. Maybe, he wanted things to go back to normal. She wanted that more than everything.

She stood and tidied her cotton nightgown. It had been a birthday present from her mom, who disapproved of her worn out t-shirt and shorts. Oddly enough, when she inspected the gift she found herself liking it very much. It fitted her nicely and it was not confining in the slightest. The night gown was the typical color of white, but it wasn’t plain at all. There were buttons alined on her chest, although it was only an adornment. Otherwise, she would have stored it in her closet if it had an actual opening to her chest. Small, white ribbons and embroidery decorated her gown. Nothing to excessive or noticeable. Exactly her style.

She pulled her curtains and silver hair gleamed wonderfully in the night. She felt pretty in her nightgown and confidently came into his complete line of vision. His usual uniform was in place which made her smile. Did he have pajamas? or did he go to sleep in his uniform?

Kakashi’s headband was wrapped securely around his forehead. Two, dark eyes creased. His hand held in the air before he waved cutely and just like that everything fell into place. He could make her move on from something embarrassing by doing something so simple. Nothing has changed between them, just a silly mishap.

Sakura lifted her window up a few inches and Kakashi reached to raise it up, crouched and moved inside gracefully. They stood in comfortable silence. “I’m sorry,” he said sheepishly.

“But, it-,” Sakura was at a loss of words. He should be upset.

“I shouldn’t have invited you had I known what was going to happen. We could have gone somewhere else.”

“Ah, don’t worry about. Forget it. Come on,” she waved in the air and walked in the living room where Kakashi sat and breathed out loudly.

She smiled. He sounded so tired.

Sakura wasn’t interested in making tea or coffee, so she took out a new carton of orange juice from the fridge and made her way to sit next to Kakashi.

His eyes ventured to her nightgown. He has never seen her out of her baggy, oversized clothes.

“Like it?” she turned her shoulders his way as she picked on a tiny ribbon.

“Yes,” he said quietly taking her in, wishing he had his sharingan right about now. She looked like royalty, he has thought about this before, but she really did shine brightly. All the time.

“Do you want children Sakura,” his voice was smooth and serious.

“Me? Oh, um, yeah. Two if the first one is too quiet,” the short silence made her blush awkwardly.

“Would you like kids, Kaka-Sensei?”

Kakashi undid his headband and stared at his the symbol engraved on it, “Drop the Sensei, I’m your boyfriend.” He said teasingly.

Sakura shrugged and turned to face him. His eyes had a nice tint of silver if you were able to concentrate carefully in his eyes, which was difficult to do because he had a handsome face, or had a close up view while on his lap like she had, “It’s a habit, so do you?”

“I don’t know,” He straightened his back and lifted himself from the couch before he plopped gently down again and sighed comfortably. He was supposed to spend time with her at the bar, just as casual friends, not necessarily drinking, but he couldn’t think of anywhere else. His place was too boring and inappropriate, dinner was too formal, and the ramen shop was getting old.

“Tick-tock-tick-tock,” Sakura used her sing song voice. The whole ordeal at the bar left Sakura feeling icky and hot.

“Sakura...”

Talk about children and marriage always stressed him. It was something he never bothered to seriously think about. Ever since he turned 21 he would hear left and right about settling down. He was up to his neck then and even recent, but obvious attempts of people bringing it up made him act like an asshole. Even though it was him now bringing it up, it was purely out of curiosity.

He would have to see Tsunade in her office to make sure she wasn’t off that day. Was she serious? She approved of them just like that? What an insane old bat.

Sakura waited patiently, amazed that she wasn’t freaking out at the mention of marriage or children. She took a mouthful of juice and shook the carton in Kakashi face, which he took.

“Can’t handle the pressure?” she giggled.

The thought of Kakashi with his own children was unimaginable.

“No, I’m fragile,” He pulled his mask down, ignoring how Sakura was scooting closer to him. Like her, he sipped.

Sakura forced herself to tear her eyes away and decided to examine the tips of her hair, “Whatever. You’re pretty lucky, you have the luxury to sit back and relax. Women like older men, and older men prefer younger women anyway, so it won’t be a rigorous hunt or anything. I’m sure if you place an ad on Konoha Daily News, you’ll have hordes of civilians and kunoichi’s. Oh, and princesses and queens, how could I forget?”

Must be nice to be attractive and unhurried to settle down, maybe because Kakashi knew he could have it all overnight if he wanted to. Kakashi had endless amount of time to spawn.

He had it easy.

Kakashi settled the carton on the side table next to the couch, “Why? I already have a pretty girlfriend,” he smiled teasingly.

Sakura rolled her eyes and giggled at the sight of Kakashi’s beauty mark and dimples. Kakashi’s face was dangerous, without his mask, secrets were bound to be spilled.

It wasn’t everyday that she had a handsome man in her place, she might as well enjoy it for a moment, “Do you really want me to be your girlfriend?”

It half bothered her that this person was her former teacher. Out of all the guys in her village it had to be him who was awakening the butterflies within her.

“Do you want me to be your boyfriend?” his voice was quiet as if they were having this secretive conversation in the middle of a meeting.

“I asked first,” she meant to speak normally, but her voice matched his.

Kakashi closed his eyes and he pinched the bridge of his nose and signed gravelly. He turned to look at her and said, “Yes.”

Sakura frowned, “You’re messing with me, aren't you?”

Kakashi’s hand made his way to hers, but stopped midway and dropped it on his lap, “Why would I do that?”

She stared down at her knees wishing he said it was a poor joke instead, “Because you like to see how much you can get away with?”

He breathed out loudly, his eyebrow twitching. Surely, he wasn’t going to deny he was a pervert, but he wasn’t one to say sweet nothings to someone precious to him. “I think you’re mistaking me with Genma.”

You can count on him to lie about training time, or leave a little to early after having a bowl of ramen, but he wasn’t cruel, not to his students.

“Why? I’m, I don’t know, me,” she shrugged and scanned herself from head to knees with her hand as if it was painfully clear without having to utter a word. She held her breath, not wanting to go into detail.

“And I’m me, which makes us perfect for each other,” He smiled cutely. Though his face was covered now, she still broke into a smile.

“I can’t tell if you’re serious or not,” Sakura huffed, pressing her lips together, scrunching her face to get rid of her smile.

“I am attracted to you, Sakura. Does that weird you out?” he said quietly staring fixedly at the floor.

“A little. You’ve been around and you have experience. You were my teacher, and you could have anyone. Young and old. So why me? It kinda makes me anxious. Is it because Tsunade was okay with it? because I’m one hundred percent sure that if she wasn’t we wouldn’t be here.” Sakura crossed her arms and pondered.

“I have no interest in hurting you in any way,” the second he said it he regretted it. He sounded like a teenager all over again, but he knew in full certainty that he meant it. 

“That’s something an untrustworthy man would say,” Sakura turned, finally, and rested her arm above the couch. She crossed her legs and sat on her side, leaning towards him. Her body language assertive for honesty.

"Is she messing with me," he thought breathlessly and wishing for his sharingan, to capture her exactly as she was. 

“True. It's up to you to trust me, maybe take a leap of faith?” That’s all he was able to say.

He was experienced. He’s been around. He knew a thing or two about pleasing women without getting physical. He could be a good first boyfriend. Someone to teach her or guide her. Was this the right thing to do? All he knew was how he didn’t want Sakura to waste her time with horny, little boys. He’s had front row tickets on Sakura’s development and there’s one thing he was certain about. Sakura fell hard when she was in love.

Sakura was stubborn, count on her to reach the end of a bottomless sea and stay there, alone, in the darkness, waiting for the one. She was light...and she was bound to burn away if she refused to come up for air; thinking she could breath and become one with the darkness. She could someday, without a doubt, but she wouldn’t find happiness. The last thing he wanted was for her to pretend that she was.

“I’ve never even been kissed. Everyone knows I’m a loser. Why would you be interested? Unless you’re into amateurs? Is it because I’m younger than you? People will talk.” Sakura babbled, her expressions changing into insecurity, embarrassment, anger, distrust, and worry in just a split second.

Kakashi would like to say Sakura was like a book, sure, she was easy to read, and like a book she kept you on your feet for more.

No, Sakura was more like a painting; everything was out there in the open. He knew it wasn’t his right or place to go ahead with this, but Team 7 was composed of broken idiots, not that Sakura has never had her good share of sadness or pain, but not like the rest of them. She deserved good experiences. He has seen how some men looked at her, others in awe at her peculiar hair and her wide green eyes; others wanted to corrupt her. Eyeing her with their lecherous gazes, not caring, at the very least, about being inconspicuous.

“I can tell you that I’ve been interested in a certain bright, pink-haired, green-eyed, hot tempered, lovestruck mess,” he chuckled wondering if he should add a few more things just to get a kick out of her.

“Since?” she squinted her eyes.

“A few months after the war,” He said. He finally acknowledged Sakura as a young woman then when he saw the conviction in her eyes. She was going to fight honorably for her village, even if it killed her. There had been plenty of instances where Sakura and him regrouped and shared information. She never failed to offer herself the first chance she could in whatever plan that was cooked up. Sakura had been impatient, wanting to make a difference wherever she could. Any plan that sounded promising lit a fire in her eyes, he could have sworn they almost glowed green with her determination.

“And you’ve never made a move in these years because?” Her stare was glued to his eyes, deliberately searching.

“It would be weird for you? I’m not the only one who disappears on people.” He touched the back on his neck and shrugged.

“I’ve been busy. You wouldn’t know if you never tried.” She turned away, shielding her guilt from him.

“So, you’re saying that if I had made a move on you. You wouldn’t smack me upside the head, pack your bags and relocate to another village?” He said, craning his neck, a lopsided smile forming under his mask when she peaked from the corner of her eye and giggled.

“I’m not that extreme. I would smack you, but only if you sucked at not being thoughtful.” She poked him hard on his shoulder.

“We would never know will we?” He said, exaggerating a wince of pain.

“What about you? I bet if Tsunade-Sama hadn’t approved we wouldn’t be having this conversation in the first place. Actually we wouldn’t even be seeing each other this much,” Sakura brushed some hair behind her ear and pretended to inspect her clean nails. She grew quiet with sadness, she was already lucky enough to have him alone for a few minutes.

“If it weren’t for Ino you mean?” He teased and made an attempt to pinch her cheek, but she waved her hand in protest.

“Don’t. It’s too soon.” Sakura grimace, recalling her humiliation for trying to be social with the rest of the adults. It backfired horribly. She was so kind for not staying behind at the bar to rip Ino’s bangs from her scalp.

Oh, was Ino going to have a mouth full when she saw her, or should she give her the silent treatment?

“The world isn’t laughing at you.” She snapped back from her contemplation.

“The world doesn’t need to laugh in my face for me to know they say things behind my back.” She sulked, irritably.

“The whole world?”

“Obviously not. I meant the village.”

“No one really cares if you’ve done things or not. You’re different because it’s not meaningless to you. You didn’t rush into things. That’s rare for Shinobi’s.” Kakashi could only remember blurred faces of the women he’d spend a night with, but after awhile it became boring. The same, repeated positions and faceless, nameless women.

“I might be out of line and you can confirm once again that I am, indeed, a pervert, but I could show you.” He said growing nervous, what was he saying? What was he thinking?

“Show me?” She raised both eyebrows. It better not be perverted...

“How to kiss?” his eyes widened in surprise. He bit the tip of his tongue, he pushed to far. "Idiot, idiot, do you want to scare her away. Do you want to die?" he thought his Inner self shaking him by the collar of his shirt. 

“Yep, you are a pervert.” She crossed her arms and shook her head.

“Your favorite pervert, hopefully? because I know I’m not your favorite teacher,” he said clasping his palms together in a prayer.

“For obvious reasons,” She kicked him playfully.

“I suppose I could just daydream about kissing you?” He held his chin and closed his eyes.

“Watch it, Ha-ta-ke. I swear you and Genma are one in the same. You were my teacher. You are my friend that I don’t push and whack around as often as the others. But I’m not sure if I should ever trust you with my dumb heart,” she said a warning in her voice.

“You can. I promise I’ll cherish you and your dumb heart,” He tipped his head to the side. Puppy dog eyes piercing her chest. The cuteness! How in the even?

His power was incomprehensible...

“How?” she said quietly. She looked up at him, waiting, holding her breath.

“Like this.” He came to level with her and stopped when he reached her forehead. The soft fabric of his mask pressed against her skin. The feeling ended as fast as it came.

“That’s it?” she made the mistake of looking up because he looked down. She froze firmly in place. Their lips were almost brushing. She didn’t dare to move an inch.

Kakashi wasn’t moving away. She gulped silently and carefully, not wanting to dispel whatever was happening or what could take place.

“You want one on lips?” He murmured.

Their eyes captured each other. Sakura only cooed in consent. She felt light, last time she checked she was sitting down? Was she floating? Having a dream?

She thought she was quivering in delight, but she didn’t know for sure. She felt alive, like when she experienced a life or death situation, “Only if you take your time. I want a slow kiss like in the movies,” if this was going to happen it might as well go her way. It was now or never.

Kakashi leaned in and brushed his nose against hers before pressing his lips against her full ones. He parted her lips with his own and kissed her, slow and gentle, but it was limited.

She wanted real contact. She wanted a bare kiss, a taste of Kakashi Hatake.

“Anything else?” He wanted to hold her, kiss her for hours on end. He was calm as if he was meant to be doing this at this very moment.

This was unlike his experiences where he got straight to business and into bed. But, right now he wanted to kiss her. That’s it. Hell, he could only kiss her like this for years on end and be perfectly content without a single complaint. 

“Then you can kiss me the same way again, but without your mask,” he leapt, soared in the moment. She wanted to kiss him, and not somebody else.

He inched his mask, ever so slowly, until it rested around his neck. His face was bare and he felt vulnerable. Kakashi’s lips found hers again. He brushed his lips against her in feather like kisses, planting them with care and without selfish hunger.

Time stood still for Sakura, she wanted to wrap her arms around his neck; to bring him closer, to deepen the moment. But, she was afraid he would freak if she acted like her arms belonged around him. So, she sat perfectly still with her eyes closed, encased in his presence hovering over her. A rough, calloused hand touched her face and lifted her face further up.

Sakura crooned gleefully, wanting to live forever in this moment. He hummed low in agreement and sighed as everything disappeared; the tension in his shoulders, the weight of life rolling and fading.

This meant something more. This was different. This was Sakura.

He ended their series of kisses with a final kiss to her temple, “What else?”

Sakura breathed him in discreetly. Knowing and fearing that she was already reading too much into this. She pinched the end of the front pocket in his vest, hating herself for wanting more from him; her fingers turning white. She didn’t want to get attached. Not again.

Kakashi keenly observed wondering if she was filled with regret. Had he made her life difficult already? He went out on a whim and took her hand on his vest with his, he stared fixedly into her eyes. She brought her free hand and raked it hesitantly along his muscled arm.

He stood up and gently pulled her up. He seemed to understand because he took both of her wrists and wrapped them around his neck as he did so he kissed her forehead and the top of her head, taking in her flowery scent.

Sakura’s heart began drubbing, she covered her face in his neck. She felt exalted in his enveloping arms. A perfect moment like this one was what she was waiting for this whole time. She was also confused, a silver haired man wasn’t supposed to be holding her or kissing her the way he just did. No matter how perfect it was or how ridiculously attractive he was. A mixture of conflicting thoughts swam in her mind. She didn’t want to feel or be this way anymore. She wanted to enjoy the here and now, with Kakashi Hatake.

She tore herself away from his embrace, cleared her throat. It was now or never, “You take me somewhere nice. I’ll wear a nice dress and you’ll treat me like a lady?”

“I can do that,” he said softly.

Sakura almost crushed him in a hug, a part of her was prepared to hear a moronic reply and be crushed in disappointment. Perhaps, if she had had experiences like Ino she would be able to resist feeling like Kakashi was the most considerate man in the world.

He couldn’t be. She was taking things out of proportion, like always.

“Why have you had similar requests?” she grumbled.

“I’m supposed to be a mystery to you not suspicious,” He said in amusement. He damned his reputation in his head wishing he’d had laid low more and slept around less. 

“Like you said I’m lovestruck,” Sakura said, she shrugged crestfallen.

“Ah, so, you’re in love with me already?” He chuckled lightly trying to dissuade her sadness from taking over.

“Get over yourself,” she scoffed and pushed him away light-heartedly.

“You might fall in love with me, is that it?” he smiled teasingly, “Hmm, I’m not against it.”

Sakura chewed on her lip and frowned, “You wouldn’t be, I would be just another fangirl.” 

"I wish, but it's nothing like that," he said. He wished her a good night sleep and kissed her goodbye.

* * *

Sakura decided to go for a walk around for an hour or two the following day. As much as she wanted to stay indoors, she realized that she had taken for granted not going out for fresh air every time she was stuck in the hospital.

On a bench, she found Iruka looking glum. His hair was down and slightly tangled, which was unusual because he always had a neat ponytail.

“Iruka-Sensei, what’s the matter” she smiled compassionately.

Iruka then began to fumble in his seat and hastily began to brush his hair with his hand while stretching the rubber band with the other.

“Oh, you haven’t heard from the hokage yet? Sasuke is back,” Iruka’s smile faltered and faded, “Naruto went to see him at the hokage’s tower.”

He sniffed, did his ponytail, and vanished into smoke.

Knowing Naruto he probably did something thoughtless. Her guess was that the second Iruka told Naruto about Sasuke, Naruto came up with a lame excuse to kick him out.

Sakura’s eyes brightened and she swallowed nervously. So Sasuke was back? For how long? She cursed a series of words.

Naruto had beaten her to him first.

Her heart leaped gleefully as she quickened her pace. She paused several times to examine her reflection on the stores glass. Sakura wanted to mentally rehearse what she would say but her mind shifted elsewhere. Her thoughts were consumed with Kakashi lately, which weirded her out because they weren’t seriously dating in the beginning, but now, well she had a date.

She covered her mouth. She was not excited and that wasn’t a smile reflecting back at her. Sakura trotted again. She was half angry and half pleased. Kakashi was somebody she wasn’t supposed to find attractive or pleasant in that way, but it also made her giggle how it felt to be so close to him in public, in front of his friends and having Tsunade show up when she typically got drunk in her office alone.

Kakashi didin't deny her then, in front of the people that knew him, she was thankful for that. Will he let the world know they were serious if they decided to be exclusive?

Imagining telling people that her former teacher was her boyfriend sent her in a misfit of uncontrollable giggles. 

People stopped to stare at her. She must look so mental, squealing like a twelve year old girl. When was the last time she felt like her feelings where going to burst free?

Sakura didn’t manage to get away unnoticed when she spotted a full-figured woman speaking to Kakashi. For the tenth time this weekend she gave an exaggerated eye roll.

This was exactly why Kakashi had to be messing around with her. Why her? When he could have a busty and curvaceous woman?

Perhaps, it was the fact that she was young. Yup, that had to be it. She should punch him next time and everything would go back to normal.

Her breath caught in her throat when her eyes met a flash of silver, “What are you doing?” Sakura balled her fists.

“Bumping into you?” He blinked innocently.

Sakura bit the inside of her cheek from preventing a smile to form, “Didn’t you see my eye roll?”

Kakashi squinted, “I left my glasses at home.”

She raised a pink eyebrow, “Weren’t you busy?”

Kakashi shrugged, “Not anymore.”

The same woman passed by them and picked up the pace when her eyes met Sakura’s, “What did you tell her?”

“Not much. Only that she should leave me alone unless she wanted to face my wonderful, but overprotective girlfriend,” he touched his heart and looked dreamily into the distance.

Sakura groaned and tried to locate the woman, but she was nowhere to be seen, “Kakashi! What if she files a complaint against me?”

“But you saved my life! It’s the reason you get up in the mornings, so thank you for your service,” he bowed down halfway and Sakura pulled him up roughly from his vest looking embarrassed.

Sakura hissed, but kept her voice down, “If I get in trouble, I’m going to tell everyone how I found you with some other woman in my bedroom. Tsunade-Sama will make sure you become a missing person.”

Kakashi stuffed his hands in his pockets and sank his shoulders, “That’s not fair. I haven’t been unfaithful to you and I don’t intend to.”

Sakura stomped on the ground sending a small tremor under Kakashi’s feet, “Then, stop using me to ward off women.”

“Then, stop using me to make Sasuke jealous,” Kakashi said reproachfully. His eyes were serious and they seemed to trap her for an eternity.

“I wasn’t!” Sakura’s eyes ran in all directions hoping Sasuke wasn’t anywhere near to hear them, “You know he’s back?! And why would you say that?” She was taken aback, confused. Where did that come from? 

“Of course. It’s my job to know these things. Just in case you come up with the idea, so don’t ask me. I won’t play along,” He pulled out his Icha Icha and pretended to bury himself in his perverted world. “I don’t deserve this treatment. Just when are you going to respect me the way I deserve?”

“Oh my god. You, drama queen,” a look of annoyance was plastered on her face. Sakura scoffed. Unbelievable! She wouldn’t use him.

She wasn’t even sure if she wanted Sasuke to know she was dating their ex-teacher. How would he react? Would he care?

“No wonder I slept with another woman,” Kakashi chuckled teasingly as Sakura raised her tiny fist warningly.

“Stop,” she whined.

“Then don’t use me, Sakura,” he said casually.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to,” She threw her hands in the air and playing along, but then she bit her lip, ”What if I can't enjoy my date with you? I-I’m just not over Sasuke...I still have some hope.” Her chest churned, she wished things were simple like turning of a light switch, but in her case, she wanted to shut off those lingering emotions towards Sasuke. 

“What about me? Am I just a game to you?” Kakashi chuckled.

“No, of course not. What a fool I’ve been for taking my one true soul mate for granted,” she pushed him playfully, “It did start off as a game or did you forget already, old man.”

“Ah, so you are taking advantage of me. I’m the poor victim in this relationship and no one is going to believe me.” He wiped his dry eyes with the back of his hands and bent forward.

Sakura clicked her tongue and stared at the sky with a tremendous sigh escaping her, “Stop it. I am not taking advantage of you! you lazy, tardy, perv.”

Kakashi threw a helpless hand in the air while the other made way to cover his face, “See? Verbal abuse,” he muttered a fake sob, "Sakura, I won't blame you for having hope, you've like him for years," he said seriously, "just try. Give yourself a chance with me."

“Just kill me,” groaned Sakura to the gods above, "You say the right things, you know? I can't help, but wonder just how many times you've said stuff like this to women."

“Where are you taking me?” Kakashi said in false panic as Sakura took his dark blue sleeve.

“To see Sasuke. Why, have you seen him?” Sakura whipped her head, her hair tickling his neck and chin. His nose catching a whiff of a different flower-scented shampoo.

He stood up straight, his bad posture long forgotten, and hid a usual hand in his pocket. “No. I can see him later. Or he could come see me. Why don’t we go to my place?” he said, annoyed.

Maybe, he should disappear for some years with a bad bunch. He cared for Sasuke, but he wasn’t worried about him. Not really, not anymore.

“Why? Does Pakkun need a bath? Is Mr. Ukki dying?”

“To make out,” he teased and shook his arm, breaking free, but quickly grasped a hold of her hand, bringing it up and pressing it against his lips.

“Kakashi!” Sakura jumped back, a blush adorning her face. She pulled her hand and stared at it.

“You don’t want to?” he chuckled darkly.

“I-I, so sudden! Why?” Her heart was skipping all over the place. He had to do something like that in public and she just had to blush and react like he’d done something romantic.

Kakashi looked different in her eyes. He was a man and his attention baffled her into a ball of overwhelming giddiness.

“Because I don’t like Sasuke right now,” Kakashi said forcefully. He was not jealous of a teenager, he told himself. He did not wish he was many, many years younger now.

He was simply being playful towards Sakura. She was attractive, yes, but them? Together in a relationship? Please.

God, he wished she was older. Kakashi glared at the distance, his fists balled into tight fists; remembering clearly how he once hated everything and everyone because he was unlucky, always. In so many ways. 

“You’re not serious,” Sakura stared confused and in wonder. Kakashi was pissed and it couldn’t possibly be because of Sasuke’s return. Not her. It wasn’t her. Not at all. Nope.

Yes, Kakashi was attractive and his attention made her happy. They were simply spending quality time together. That’s it. 

Things were being decided between them, nothing was set in stone. What they thought they had was just a work in progress. Nothing might happen in the end. This was new terrain, completely experimental. 

The sun was beating down on them, or that’s how Sakura felt. She was warm all over. Her hands her sweaty, her chest felt tight, and she was breathing too carefully. Not that anyone could hear them anyway. Everyone was about their day, chatting and shopping. No one was paying them no mind.

“...” Kakashi cursed at himself and pushed his idiotic thoughts away to unpack later.

“You’re messing with me,” Sakura concluded.

He was acting, surely, and she wasn’t quite sure what to do. Should she approach him and slap him on the back playfully?

“No, I-you should go see Sasuke. I think I forgot to water Mr. Ukki,” Kakashi held out his hand and began walking away into the busy street.

“Hey, no. What’s with you? You don’t get to shut yourself away. It’s not fair.” Sakura could’ve let him go, but not like this. He’s never been this vocal or open about his feelings.

A glimpse to this new side of him was all it took for Sakura to hold on to him. He was trying his best and she could see that, Kakashi was a hell of an actor when he needed to be, but they were in public right now. This was so unlike him, she was positive he was serious. 

She reached and grabbed his arm and let her hand slide off the long sleeved fabric. 

He grasped her hand in his and squeezed it gently, “You’re too good for him, Sakura. He doesn't deserve you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tell me what you think? because I'm incapable of judging my own work :) The pacing is slow because I'm learning and I'm not sure what to do. It's still fun though.


	5. Waiting for You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> New territory for Sakura.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, it's short.

Deep down within her, she pictured connecting her fist against Sasuke’s jaw, but to go through with it might sever the smallest chance of having something resembling a friendship. 

Sasuke and her weren’t exactly friends, they more or less shared childhood moments, but nothing more. 

She always wondered why it was so impossible to have what Naruto and Sasuke shared. 

Sakura made her way up the spiral stairs outside the tower, she was thankful that it served as a quick getaway to leave undetected for every presiding Hokage. 

All the same she way glad of its existence because she had time to herself. 

For some unknown reason Sakura could hear an echoing voice awakening from its slumber. 

“Forehead, just forget about him even Sai shows more enthusiasm to become a better person. He’s always trying his best.” 

Sakura swallowed the emptiness in her mouth as she found herself face to face with the office door. Just on the other side, is Sasuke. She stared at the broken paint lining and sprouting like small veins. Someone should change this door. How old was it? It should at least be painted with new color. 

Her small, cold hand inched towards the door knob. It rested there. Strange how she couldn’t feel her hand. She knew the surface was sweaty, but at the same time she couldn’t feel it. Sakura couldn’t feel herself. There was only the quietness of the hall, yet her being felt like it was ready to bounce into the air into a far away place. 

“This is it,” she thought as she carefully bit the skin of her lips. Sakura was about to twist the handle when it opened, she widened her stance as if preparing to face an enemy, and pressed her lips thinly together. 

A single eye stared back at her. Long hair covered a large part of his face. 

_ Like a mask...like Kakashi.  _

She stared at Sasuke like if she was seeing him for the very first time in her life. He was like a ghost.

Immediately she felt the pressing need to ask him questions because she had no idea if he was pleased to be back. 

He was unreadable. Sakura felt out of place even though she’s been in this same building countless times longer than him. 

All Sakura was able to do was open and closed her mouth as she was trying to catch a question among the million in her mind to ask him. 

“Sakura,” he said. 

There was a nod or maybe it was her imagination. 

His clothes hadn’t changed. He looked calm, but the air about him was silently intimidating. Like he was on the move even when he was perfectly still. 

“Sasuke-Kun,” Sakura drawled out slowly. That was done out of habit, but was else could she say?

_Maybe a quick, hello. You idiot_ , Inner Sakura shook her head and blew out a tired puff of air. 

“Welcome back,” she gathered herself and stood aside to let him through. 

“Sakura chan! We are heading to Ichiraku’s, Wanna come?” Naruto face appeared so suddenly that Sakura almost stared at him the same way she had with Sasuke. 

His broad smile illuminated the room. A wave of sadness fell over her and left just as fast. Naruto was his old self again. 

“Yeah, like old times,” She said throwing a playful fist up in the air. 

“Nah, Kakashi-Sensei isn’t here. Let’s go get ‘im,” He brought his arms up and crossed them behind his head. 

“Actually, I think he’s busy. I saw him earlier today and he said he needed to get some things done,” Sakura rambled.

Naruto pouted and grumbled at not having all of team 7 together. He shrugged and widened his smile again. 

“Later then,” He nodded. His sky blue eyes sparkled mischievously and smirked as he took a glance at Sasuke. No doubt was he thinking of sparring against Sasuke. Or perhaps, re-doing the bell test against him before night fell on them. 

She remembered how the older man seemed to need to be left alone. And how he wasn’t exactly excited about Sasuke’s recent arrival. 

Sakura walked behind them. She let a smile play freely on her face. It wasn’t difficult to see herself and them as 12 year olds again. She watched their backs. They were almost the same height, except Naruto was a bit taller and wider from the shoulders. 

Her thoughts wandered back to a weary looking Iruka. It seemed out of place to not see his kind face. Iruka was always calm and high spirited every time she saw him. 

A faint thud to her heart made her worry. What if Iruka were to see Naruto smiling as his usual self again and knowing in full certainty that the reason was Sasuke? 

She couldn’t help but throw a glare at Naruto’s back. 

Naruto sensed this and stopped midtrack like a cold bucket of water had been poured over him. 

Sakura quickly looked elsewhere, acting as if she hadn’t wished to slap the back of Naruto’s head. 

“Iruka-Sensei seemed different today. I’ve never seen him so different before,” her voice sounded like a mother speaking to a toddler who had just drawn a cute picture on a wall and trying to redirect their efforts on paper. 

She couldn’t see Naruto’s expression, but she hoped her voice echoed in his head for the rest of the day. Sakura knew it wasn’t her business, but she didn’t care. Right now she had this persisting soft spot for Iruka. She needed to protect him. 

She bit the inside of her cheek and tried not to smile knowingly in case Naruto turned to look at her for a trace of evidence that she knew about them. But he didn’t. 

Iruka was a grown man, but she has learned that shinobi, especially men (not all of them, but a pretty big number), struggled with their emotions. They refused to share them and even acknowledge them. 

Iruka wasn’t perfect. He was approachable, like an ideal teacher, but even he struggled in the love department. 

Oh, how easy would life be if men just confessed their feelings, plain and simple, like girls? 

Or, were they like girls, too? Pushing things down due to irritating insecurities and fears? Waiting for the other to lay open their feelings honestly in order for them to gush out their relief? 

Yup, she could see Iruka fumbling shyly and stealing hidden glances in Naruto’s direction. _He’s like a Hinata. How cute._ She thought. A roll of giggles tickled inside her stomach, almost bending her forward, but she dismissed it with a loud, happy sigh. 

They ordered their ramen bowls and waited. She grew pretty amazed how she didn't waste a second to spring to hold Sasuke’s arm like she normally would have or jumping for the chance to know when he was free to spend time together.

She has changed. kind of. It was something and something was better than nothing. 

Sakura stood up slowly with her hands resting on the edge of the table. She brought herself to cancel her order. This earned her an arched eyebrow from Naruto and a discerning eye from Sasuke. 

“Oh, I need to head back to Tsunade’s. I forgot something,” She lazily waved them goodbye and left, not bothering to explain herself or allow Naruto to inquire further. 

She walked straight to the tower and turned once she placed a good enough distance between the ramen shop and her. 

She did need to speak to her master about the other night. But, it's not like she was in a rush. 

Instead she headed to Kakashi’s place. 

Once outside his door, she waited. Still like the cloudless sky above. Why was she here? He probably needed to be on his own. Sakura turned her small back to the door and crossed her arms above her chest. She deliberated. If she were to knock what would she say? 

Just as the thought passed her mind the door opened wide. She froze, wide eyed, and imagine a large hand, like Gaara’s sand which could take any form, wrapping itself around her waist. Stilling her in place. 

“I was waiting for you,” a smooth, lazy chuckle traveled to her ears.

“I don’t know why I’m here. My legs, I-I wanted to be here, I guess,” her mind was blank. She didn’t feel as she sounded.  She tried to pinpoint exactly what she was feeling, but she was blank. She was so uncomplicated at the moment and she found herself strangely attracted to the simplicity of it. She ought to be red from her face, like a melting popsicle. But she wasn’t. Her being was tranquil.

“Come inside. Food’s ready,” He said it like he has said it a thousand times. To her. 

She moved passed him. As she did she gave a soundless gasp. Her skin, from head to toe felt like they were on display. Privately for him. Like fresh, icy water was coursing, like drumming fingers, pleasantly up her back.

This didn’t make any sense because she was fully clothed. 

It was like an embrace. Her being alone with him in his place. She felt oddly enveloped. Maybe it was the way he nodded at her to follow him to where the food was waiting. 

His entire attention was focused only on her. That’s how he made her feel, like they were having their own conversation even when they weren’t near each other and when a single thing wasn't spoken between them. 

Was he really waiting for her? Did he know she was going to come over? Or was it a quick save to sound suave?

She aggressively brushed the last thought away. It was exhausting when she doubted him. She wanted to trust him and give herself completely like she once had with Sasuke. Give her energy and trust wholly. If he didn’t, couldn’t, wasn’t capable of returning it just the same then she would move on. He would be another Sasuke and the one next to him would be another Kakashi. Until she found someone for her. 

But, for now she wanted to be here. With him. 

And, in his own way, Kakashi was giving it his all. In the simplest of actions.

She was patient and ready for him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slowly, but surely.


	6. A Home for Him

Intimate relationships concerning him were a laughable matter to him many years ago. His heart was overridden with hatred, confusion, and arrogance. 

He was all but glad that he was no longer a teenager. At the same time, he felt a stab in his chest for not living more in the moment. How could he? 

He has been distrustful since he was left on his own, witnessing the village working as one to move forward as prosperously as they could. He was left alone mainly, everyone scowled in his direction. His father’s failure caused a weighty recession, which increased the unemployment rate of his village and relations of their allies found it distasteful to witness a nation so powerful crumble financially to its knees. A single man with a mission, weighing heavily on his shoulders let everyone back home down. 

Before this, no one paid him any mind. Not in a way that would suggest he was soon to become the only son of a traitorous scumbag. That’s what his father became reduce to. A traitor. Although, it was a lie and far from it. It helped them feel better to see him in a shaddier light. As someone who would throw away all the training, the principles and priorities, for the sake of a few lives. 

Those whose lives were saved by Father, returned in shame. Though, they lived to see their loved ones, they knew better than to protect the individual who killed the security and peace of the Fire Nation. 

Their integrity vanished. Soon, their eyes looked like everyone else’s. No gratitude was bestowed on his father’s memory. Not even a fruitless speech was said to him by them. 

So hated was his father that his corpse was buried miles out the village. Like a dangerous, infections, garbage. Even stray dogs buried chicken bones with more affection. 

Kakashi grew up as a pestilence. His worth amounted to the early strides of his innate talent and advanced intelligence. He learned almost immediately that there was no tolerance for rule breakers. Kakashi was a daily reminder to everyone. He was a diminutive copy of his father. The mask didn’t help, but at least he felt protected to some degree, like his father was in a strange way hugging him and holding a hand to his covered face. 

“Never shy away from your problems...Never sprint foolhardy without assessing your opponents skills and character...Never show the world you’re weaknesses, they will rush to exploit you to your death…”

Kakashi loved this about his father. His rules were definitive, out of experience and leadership. Kakashi never hesitated in following his instructions because he witnessed first hand in much younger years how his father conducted himself through out missions. He never wavered, not physically or emotionally. He was, in those times, his hero: the ideal embodiment of strength; a true soldier. 

His home in his short-lived childhood years weren’t perfect. His father was strict yet there for his needs. Food, clothing, and shelter were never absent. His father was capable of being gentle, too. He’d often reprimanded his father for it. 

“Men can be maternal. Would you rather I not let you sleep with me when you’re lonely or scared of the dark? Would you rather I only give you praise for your good behavior and work than give you affection?”

“It’s not manly, dad! You shouldn’t do it in public, I don't know like how other shinobi look at you. They make fun of you!” 

“I’m aware they do. They’ve had different upbringings, father’s who train them until dark; one mishap and they get severely punished. Is that the kind of father you want me to be? Not that it matters because I’m your father and what I say goes. I refuse to mistreat you for the sake of a clan's name or to rush and force out you’re value for the village.”

“I don’t have a say at all?” Kakashi crossed his arms, disbelief written in his widened, incredulous, eyes. _ Adults! They think they’re better than me. As if! I’m smarter than all of them.  _

“Your opinions do matter to me, of course. I’m your father. But in some matters you have absolutely no grounds to yap yourself into. I let you because you aren’t an ordinary boy. However, to everyone but myself, you should best keep yourself still and quiet.”

With that his dad ruffled the top of his head. A soft, fatherly smiled formed on his face and the usual creases besides the end of his eyes appeared.

No one knew his dad like he did. Yet, he never had the chance to get to know him like the rest of the world. This led him to believe that maybe the world was right about his dad. So he was angry. An Anger latched in his heart for being abandoned, for being cursed at and blamed by people each time he left to and from the academy. 

“He’s fated to fall in the same footsteps as his treacherous father.” 

“My parents business is suffering because of him!” 

“Tsk! He oughta go the same way. Hey, kid! Why don’t you say hi to your father? Want some rope?” 

Women, men, kids older and younger than him learned to ignore his existence or to speak ill about him and his father. But, Kakashi never heard any of it. Everything loomed above his head. He was emotionally beyond reach. His heart was replaced by a vacant space. 

Had Kakashi known there was help, a place for him to go, he would have sought it. But who was he kidding? He hated everything and everyone. What was the reason of his existence? His dream died along his with his father. All he was back then, was a boy who wanted to be with his father. To travel and fight beside him on missions. He wasn't asking for much, his dream was really simple.

Kakashi became suicidal since he was the mere age of five years old. Time again and again he’d sit idly and stare at the ceiling where he found his father swaying softly. Did it hurt? Did his father think of him while he was fastening the rope around his neck? When he kicked off the tabby stool chair? 

An inky apology was written inside a scroll along with his signature tanto sword, and some of his summoning scrolls. 

_ To my beloved son,  _

_ Know that I am deeply sorry. I was weak. I have failed. I failed everyone. Hell is the only place for me now.  _

_ I'm sorry for doing this to you, but I can’t. How am I supposed to look at you, my son? Know that I love you so very much. Kakashi you are the single best thing in my life, the surest and proudest decision I’ve ever taken. A blessing.  _

_ Kakashi, son, be stronger than I was. Do whatever you must to survive, what you think is morally correct may not be easy or even worth it, but promise me, TRY to, because I understand if you cannot, but whatever you do, **please, live**. _

_ S.H.  _

Rain found itself inside his home. Like a permanent cloud was trailing him everywhere he went. Small whimpers escaped him before the pain finally escaped his eyes and his voice. He bawled heavily and wailed endlessly in the emptiness of his unfurnished house. 

Why? What was he supposed to do know without his father? There was no home for him anymore. And there was no God. He knew this before, but now it was confirmed otherwise God would have spared his father and the pain he was forced to endure from that day forward. 

He wanted more than anything to not be. Not there, not here, not anywhere. There was no place on earth for him to call home. There were only places, with soldiers, missions, and people to protect. Everywhere else was the same as it was in his village. People worked and worked.

Kakashi knew about loss. He’d seen it close hand, slowly coming without warning to take the people he slowly came to care about. He was all too familiar with the silence. 

Now he was in his mid thirties. Along way from five. His ambitions? To serve the village until he was no longer needed, either dead or retired. Hobbies? He had plenty: his icha icha volumes, having his ninken around, sleeping too much or not at all, hanging around undisturbed on a spot where he is left alone for hours at a time, tolerating his grown students or former ones, now on equal footing. Procrastinating was a hobby, too. As well as getting people to pay for his food. It took careful skill and timing to leave at the right time. Those were his unique little pranks, to have his dear former students to become oblivious of his escape. or buy his funny made up excuses. See? he did have hobbies. It wasn't his fault people couldn't relate....

* * *

Several wedding proposals have traveled to the hokage's office and to his doorstep. He had no interest in weird women who never even met him. Kakashi wouldn’t budge _ever_ even when when they offered their resources and other tempting offers for him and the village. He didn’t waver even when Tsunade promised to cut off his “ungrateful dick” and sent it as an apology for all his female suitors. 

He might be old, but the concept of arranged marriages revolted his insides. It escaped his logical comprehension why someone would commit the rest of their lives to a stranger. He didn’t like strangers, yet he would have to share a bed with one? He didn’t like to share things and he didn’t like places that were unfamiliar to him. Sharing things...with strangers. 

Mei even suggested, quite seriously and seductively if he may add, of them getting married. But he considered her too dominant for his liking, her need for things to be in her control at all times clashed with his un-subservient and aloof self. He even went as far as granting her request for a date, but he learned all too quickly that she liked to forcefully escalate things to the bedroom. Though, of course he didn’t refuse a night of sex, she came to voice her offended displeasure when she learned that he wasn’t trapped by her hot charms or immodest positions. Did he really, in any point, give her the impression that he could be won over so easily? They spoke of nothing while they had dinner. Overpriced food was left untouched. 

Instead she licked her glossy lips while she looked at him like a piece of meat and propped her elbows on the table so her chest was in his complete view, and, and, brought up her foot to brush the inside of his leg. He was hungry, but not for sex... 

If she wanted sex, she could have knocked on his door later. They didn't need to go on a "date."

He was not surprised by her and regretted ever sleeping with her because he had to withstand her cold attitude each time they had to meet. Hence, she, the stranger, withdrew her suggestion ever since she screwed him and then made him sleep in shabby places while his teammates slept in the guest tower with real showers and real food. The unfairness of it all....

He considered Shizune, but she was too normal for him. It was weird. She was like Ayame, except she could handle poisons and heal to some extent. Nevertheless, too normal and a bit boring. 

Kakashi was glad that at least one of his not-so-normal friend got together with another not-so-normal friend.

Tenzo and Anko. Married and now living together in an apartment. Marriage had changed Anko. He didn’t recognize her from her usual blood thirsty sense of humor. It almost came as a shock when Tenzo announced that they were expecting. 

It still made him go “wow!” each time he recalled him casually throwing it out there. Kakashi's eyebrows were already trained to hide behind his headband whenever he recalled the memory. Of course. Married life does that, it makes kids. It’s a consensual agreement between two to stay together through everything until the end. But, wow, Tenzo and Anko having kids before him? He was better than those two combined...Actually, no, they were the same messed up kind...all three of them were in the “most likely to be bachelors/and forever alone/ Tsunade club.” 

If those two could get married, he held his chin, then so could he? 

But who would he marry? 

Who would he want to spend the rest of his life with? Who would be willing to spend their future with him?

A smiled curled upwards. He pursed his mouth together. No, he shouldn’t think it. Not even imagine it. 

But he did. How could he not? 

His smile lifted widely. 

When he thought of her, he knew. She would be the one. She would be a home for him. A life with warmth and calm. He pictured an uncomplicated future with her. Sure, they had their differences, but he knew how to approach them. 

But, would it be possible? Their history would make things complicated. Not for him at least. Maybe for her and for the village. He couldn’t be selfish and cause her trouble like that unless she was prepared to face those obstacles together with him. He was ready and willing. For her. 

Kakashi wanted what Tenzo and Anko had. If they could do it then he could, too. Someone like him could have a happy, strong, and capable woman by his side to call him a husband in the most adoring way. A wife…

If he were to buy a ring, get down on not one, but two knees, like a beggar, like a praying churchgoer, would she say yes? Or was two knees too much? He wouldn’t mind. He wanted to be vulnerable in her eyes. To promise her with his actions, not only words, that he could be as faithful as he was loyal to his village. 

The only difference was that the village wasn’t his home. It was only a place he swore to protect. He promised to live on and he is doing so in the best way he knows how. The only difference was that he didn’t love his village, he loved her. 

When he pictured home he pictured her. 

Home was a brilliant color of pink and green. Home was kind, selfish, stubborn, impatient, short tempered, fun, moody, and full of love. 

Just like him. At some point in his life he was all those things. And somewhere along the way he burnt out. He could be there for her just as she would undoubtedly be there for him. If she wanted him. He wanted her and he wanted everything. Her love, her time, all of it. 

Kakashi knew that she may feel close to burning out. But, no dam could possibly put her fire away. Hope lived in her eyes, and he wanted to live with renewed hope or have some borrowed from her. 

He, too, could be strong, in a loving-affectionate way just as his father was with him in public. 

He would show kindness to his children or child, if she wanted any from him, just as his father uncaringly displayed to him many years ago. 

He could be like his father. Be the things his father didn’t get to be. Be even better. He would be alive for her and for their children. 

A home for him. 

Would she open the door and let him in? 

His was unlocked, would she walk in?

They were comfortable with one another. He was sure of it. 

Her company was enjoyable. She had fun with him, too.

He didn't want to be cocky, but he knew she had feelings for him. 

She liked him, he was sure. 

He knew that she knew that he had feelings for her, too. 

Would she admit them to him, to herself? 

Would she seek him like she did countless of times with the Uchiha? 

All he needed was for her to find him once. 

He wasn't difficult. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm learning how to write. There's inconsistencies..like sakura is in her early twenties (idk I wanted to make her a couple years older after the war ended, not that the war lasted for years or anything.) 
> 
> I know some people are bothered if the writer runs away from the timeline, so sorry for that. Someday, I'll come up with something with an actual plot for them XC I feel like im not doing them much justice
> 
> also im tempted to write smut c: but... i have no experience in writing smutty things :c 
> 
> ...i'm seriously in l o v e with this ship XC is that creepy? idk, im really happy kakasaku exists


	7. I Choose You

In his excitement to have his childhood friend back, Naruto kept glancing sideways. Sasuke was back. Things can go back to the way they were before. 

His jet black hair was thin and long, like a curtain it covered half of his face. 

He noisily slurped his noodles, and hummed when the hot steam hit his face. 

Many people didn’t eat ramen during the day, when it was blazing hot, but Naruto didn’t mind. The hateful sun couldn’t be hot enough to keep him away from his favorite place on earth. 

“Teme, how long are you staying this time?” he observed Sasuke’s face intently ready to detect a hint of a lie. 

“I’m not sure,” Sasuke said shrugging. 

Naruto didn’t push him, thinking it was too soon for them to be bickering. So after a long moment of silence, sasuke spoke up again, “Sakura, is she seeing anyone?”

A yellow eyebrow shot upwards, “why?” he couldn’t help himself from turning his entire body to face Sasuke. He inched his face towards Sasuke, as much as he cared for Sakura he couldn’t help but be thankful that she wasn’t here. Sasuke rarely brought her up and the rare time that he did it made something in Naruto twist uncomfortably. 

But Sasuke’s pale and unexpressive face refused to give anything away. Naruto only became impatient and frustrated unlike Sakura who used to burst into tears whenever she couldn’t figure out how to read or help Sasuke. 

“Is she?” Sasuke got up casually, already having finished a single bowl of. Naruto sprung up to his feet and fumbled to retrieve some cash. 

“No, she isn’t. Sakura-chan works hard, she doesn’t have time to date,” Naruto said as he stepped out into the light traffic of people going on about their day. 

The breeze made naruto smile broadly, the combination of the wind and the hot meal cooled him off. 

“She’s good with children,” Sasuke said looking at Naruto. 

“Eh? Yeah. I’m confused. What’s with the questions?” Naruto wrinkled his nose and crossed his arms behind his neck. But to Naruto’s happy annoyance, Sasuke didn’t say a word. 

They walked until they parted ways. Naruto walked alone to his apartment while Sasuke left in a solitary walk to his childhood home. The homes’ of his clan were still untouched and were unkempt. Sasuke refused to stay anywhere else, he was going to return home whether it was empty and unresponsive.

* * *

For so long Naruto has been trying to reach him, even now that Sasuke was back it was a little odd and even a bit out of place. 

“That asshole keeps leaving,” Naruto grumbled and stuck out his lower lip in a pout. It took him a considerably long time to realize he was gay. Friendship wasn’t the same as the longing need to be with someone, to make sure they didn’t suffer alone, or were left alone. He still considered Sasuke to be his match and equal in a fight. But was there more? 

Naruto looked where he stepped as he hopped up the stairs up to his place. When he looked up, a wave of sadness overtook him and guilt pinched at his heart. 

Iruka was standing outside, facing his door, with his head bowed down. Suddenly, as if he had sensed his presence, Iruka lifted up his head, sniffed and breathed out a shaky breath. All preparedness in the world would never have given him the strength that he needed now. He would never deny his weaknesses or hide them in front of someone he cared very deeply about. 

He turned to face Naruto. And came close to regretting being emotionally out in the open. “How could I have fallen for someone I’ve looked after? Someone much younger than me?” he thought, “it’s no one’s fault but my own for letting things get this far.” 

Naruto approached him in an unhurried walk. When he was beside him, he reached for his key and unlocked the door. “Iruka-Sensei, I’m sorry,” he quietly said, “Would you like to come in? Do you want to stay?”

Iruka brought himself to give a defeated nod. When he stared at Naruto’s dark blue eyes he felt like a child himself. He felt protected. He could be protected by Naruto afterall, he was much stronger than most. 

Inside they went, passed the bed and the kitchen, which were across from each other. It was odd to enter a place where the bed was facing the kitchen, but it was spacious enough. Most homes usually invited you to see the living room first, but in Naruto’s case, the living room was at the end. Iruka smiled fondly, it suited Naruto’s personality, he didn’t care to be like everyone else. 

“Naruto, I’m sorry. Things shouldn’t have happened the way they did,” he stood beside the sofa, not wanting to sit like he belonged there, like he had the past couple of months. 

“There’s no need to apologize if it was me who overreacted. It was wrong of me to do that after you were there for me all this time. I think...I don’t deserve to ask, but can we start over again, Iruka-Sensei?” Naruto stood standing as well, not wanting to leave Iruka alone in his own discomfort. 

The last thing Naruto wanted was to put a cold distance between him and Iruka. Naruto knew then that it would be unbearable if he and Iruka were no longer speaking to each other. He already had to get used to Sasuke leaving constantly, he wouldn’t know what he will do if Iruka was out of his life. 

Even though Sasuke had no idea of Naruto’s newfound feelings for him, Naruto thought it had been a blow to Iruka’s heart to be discarded and disrespected like that. If the roles were reversed, Naruto was certain he would be bawling his eyes out and drinking all over again. 

It was time for him to let go. Sasuke wasn’t in a criminal organization like Akatsuki anymore. He was home and his mind was sound. It was time to move on. 

“Sasuke should try doing the chasing sometime. I’m done and I’m tired,” he thought. He closed his eyes, waiting begrudgingly, if Iruka said no, it was going to hurt like hell and it was going to be well deserved. 

“You can’t be so thoughtless and kick me out like that again. Is that going to happen whenever you hear Sasuke’s name?” a stiff silence followed, but Naruto cleared his throat and clearly said no.

Iruka face heated up, he never ever imagine he’d ever be in this position of confessing his jealousy, his hurt feelings, and his attraction to Naruto. An uncontrolled kid who Iruka was forced to babysit and follow around the village to make sure his pranks didn’t get out of hand. A little noisy and overly enthusiastic kid...who grew up to be an amazing person. 

“I-I like you Naruto, and I don’t want to be just a friend who listens to you and is there for you. I want more,” his hands found his hips and it bothered him how he sounded like he was giving a lecture in a class...at the academy. 

“But, Iruka-Sensei, I’ve never been in a relationship before,” he blushed and scratched the back of his head. 

A gentle and knowing smile formed on Iruka’s face, “I know.”

“Are you sure?”

“I think I would know if I’m sure or not. Are you?” Iruka remained still. 

Naruto’s hand came to his mouth where he disguised a small, forced cough. A blush was smeared across his face. It was the first time he felt like he wanted to be wanted. Naruto’s mind traveled momentarily to Hinata, who he had good times with, but never actually clicked with. It wouldn’t have broken his heart if Hinata decide to be with someone else. 

But with Iruka, the months they spent together. Mostly because he was concerned about his health, had to be the best he’d ever had. Iruka had seen him at his worst many times, but this time he wanted to stay drunk in his sorrows. It didn’t take long for him to sober up, he's been clean for five months,thanks to Iruka. So, really Iruka’s company save his life from staying in a dark, gloomy place. 

Naruto brought a sharp thumbs up,“Okay, let’s do this, Iruka-Sensei. I’m ready for it. I choose you.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> POKEMON GOTTA CATCH EM ALL~~
> 
> I hate how im so pumped to write and then im like nah i don't wanna...do dis..no more..

**Author's Note:**

> To be honest I'm not sure where this story is going to go or even end. I'll keep at it as long as I can. 
> 
> Please, do tell me what makes sense or is incorrect. Feel free to give me ideas. What would you like to read? What didn't you like? Was something confusing? Repetitive? Too simple?  
> I want to know.
> 
> Edit: oh! because I like meme's and TV shows I'm going to let them influence my writing.  
> "I'm not a slut but who knows" is Kelly Kapoor's line in The Office. haha, ENJOY!!!


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